What do you think the economic future of the Donbass republics will be?
Originally Answered: What do you think the economic future of the Donbas republics will be?
At 22.00 on 22/2/2022, Putin officially recognised independence of the 2 breakaway eastern regions, Donetsk People’s Republic and Luhansk People’s Republic. Russians fear that they exist only in Putin’s head, and when he wakes up from a dream, they will disappear.
Men in khaki uniforms wave Russians flags on the streets of Donetsk in the early hours of the morning, on February 23rd, mistakenly believing that they have joined Russia.
“No, no, guys, you’ve just officially become a buffer zone between Nato and Russia what’s you’ve been for the past eight years anyways.” Well, I guess they’re not listening…
DPR country profile.
DPR ranks as 197th country in nominal GDP placing it between Cuba and Palestine, and slightly higher in GDP per capita, at 169th place, between Uganda and Burkina Faso.
After coal mines have been flooded, the main DPR’s export are embezzled funds in the British banks, guerrilla fighters, prostitutes, refugees, and Russian-made BUKs to shoot jet liners.
Airport: bombed. Roadways: in winter, when mud’s frozen solid.
Military: all the male population. Military expenditures: 67% of the budget.
Trafficking persons: prostitutes.
Life expectancy for men - 46 years. Land use - mostly for war.
Population growth rate: -14%. Country comparison to the world: last. Fertility rate: almost zero.
Population distribution: mostly fled the hell out of there.
Natural hazards: none, only human-made
Language: Russian with 37% swear words. Language sample: I gonna suka blyat take you wallet yebat beat you hui and break your ebanaya head with a suchi brick!
Government type: free association of bandits and soldiers of fortune to plunder resources and financial transfers from Moscow
Legal system: completely illegal.
Suffrage: only male owners of Kalashnikovs
Head of government: Denis Pushilov, Kremlin elected president and former head of a successful financial pyramid MMM to be assassinated in four years.
Cabinet: 12 bandits, 4 embezzlers, 7 mercenaries, 12 ex-convicts. Act as legislative, judicial and executive (by shooting in the back of the head) branches.
International organization participation: in talks with Taliban, Hamas, and Hizballah.
Diplomatic representation:
Chief of mission to the United States: Marina Petrovna, a pensioner, former English elementary school teacher.
France: President Pushilov’s niece Anechka, who attends college in Paris. Her French is near native. She likes fashion and records videos on Tik Tok.
UK: President Pushilov’s nephew NIkitka, who attends Harrow school and helps his uncle syphon Kremlin’s pension payments in DPR to invest into luxury real estate and football teams.
Flag description: black signifies all the suffering leaders of the republic caused to their people, blue is for all the sadness they have delivered, and red is for all the blood they have spilled of the innocent people.
National symbol: a skull with a hole in the forehead
National anthem: “Suka blyat, spend stolen money’s good/ Knock on wood.”
Illicit drugs and vodka: plenty for all the comrades.