SM-liiga in English

[Jopi]

Hi, everybody!

I'm writing here for the first time. I'd like to tell you something about my favourite coach in SM-league. You may think that I will tell you about Mr. Parrotspeciesstream. No, you are wrong. I'm gonna tell you about Mr. Maybe Small Boatlikecap. He is a good coach.

Have a nice day, hope you enjoyed this story and share the knowledge about Finnish coaches among all hockey fans!

I don't think Mr. Parrotspeciesstream is many humans' favourite coach, not after the infamous five-one-game. That is actually a very essential part of Finnish ice disc culture: to know that we always lose against Sweden, with a last-minute goal. This is because the Swedes are always lucky, like Hans Goose. When this happens, it's reason to drink booze and throw your family to snow. But last spring it didn't happen, instead Finland airwaved their way to Worldchampiongold. Booze was drunk and families were thrown to snow because of this.

 

[Johannes]

Boxing Day christmas story:

Oh boy, Boxing Day and no sm-liiga games. It would be quite nice to sit watching a game, when there is big storm and very windy in Helsinki. That would have made nice atmosphere, even without fighting in a game.

42 years ago little Johannes spent the boxing day evening attending Nordis and a hockey game for the first time in his life. It was an inernational Ahearne Cup-game between HIFK and Spartak from Moscow and we won the spectacular Soviet Union team 6-4. Little 7-years old Johannes sold his soul that evening to ice-hockey and HIFK-team, which combined then skill and toughness in a canadian way. The teacher had of course been Carl Brewer, who was a player-coach for HIFK 1968-69 and he raised HIFK from obscurity what the team is even now, for the good and bad. HIFK:s real success-yera were 1968-83 and after that there has been more talk than action, but things are changing slowly now, year after year and we won gold-metals last season, like everbody knows, so now almost 50 years old Johannes is again happy with what HIFK is and will be in the future years.

 

[fiftyeight]

- - -
42 years ago little Johannes spent the boxing day evening attending Nordis and a hockey game for the first time in his life. It was an inernational Ahearne Cup-game between HIFK and Spartak from Moscow and we won the spectacular Soviet Union team 6-4. - - -

Ok, Yohannes. I suppose that we´ve been at the same game thosedays. Actually, I can remember it, cause usually during the Boxing Day there were not so many happenings at all. Also, my skiis were broken and Santa didn´t get me a new sledding.

But you, ofcourse my horse, remember that HIFK/HAAC won that competition next year, 1970.

Nowadays they play in Europe somekindof Nordic-ski-trophy, and it was won by an Austrian team and the winning-goal painter was nigerian. Some nobody-team from Hilmala was the loser.

 

[Uleåborgir]

Hello again after a christmas, when I had to go away from the big road where we can use travel telephones and knowing machines. Had a 100 kilo metres ( 300 miles) walk from my summer kottake. There was so much freezing grades, that we had to melt the air to inhale it and so on.

Last night there happened a big disaster behind the mud pod. Finland SUOMI PERKELE disappeared to Sweden because of a betrayer Michael Granlund. A player who canned not to make a aircrank, when it was needed. Now the Swedens peoples laugh to us and a lot of self murders has been done because of Granlunds betrayal and shame. Actually he is now Granlunt because of Michael Little Otter, a legendary and skillful announcer from a tv channel called commercial television three. It operates from hostile South Finland but we North Finns sometimes look at it with our anlawful ekvipments.

Can we have some talkings about the last nights disaster, so outlanders can also know what we think about the Finns?

 

[lucas]

Nowadays they play in Europe somekindof Nordic-ski-trophy, and it was won by an Austrian team and the winning-goal painter was nigerian.

The correct spelling is Nordic Combined Trophy and the Austrians have traditionally managed well in that sports. No wonder sm-liiga clubs did not do well, they are ice disc athletes not skijumpers or just skis. Japanese have also managed well in this trophy in the past but how the hell they are nordic beats me. But maybe that explains the nigerian too.

Back to sm-liiga. Batmans Enemies finally got their paint guardian star back from sick hut but they nevertheless lost again because now the attackers who were supposed to paint to the other end did not paint any because Three Meter Little White-Water denied everybody. So the star guardian came back for nothing. That was funny.

 

[FASlapsi]

Yes, the small Lions are playing against other juniors in Känädä, and this are very bad times for Finland, because now we know what foreign countryers are thinking about us. They are thinking that we are to be laughed and irvied. All around the world everybodies are making fun of Mikael Granlund, our saviour and Jesus Christus, because disc escaped from him and homos won in winning goal competitions. Those bastards, I hope they all die and if they come to Finland, I yell to them "Go away you homo neegers! Finland to the Finlanders! In the land with the habit of the land!"

Especially I hate those homos from Sverige. Those annoying Hannu Gooses even made our next bestest paint keeper of the world to cry because they took the disc out of air and then it was in the paint and Sami Barnrock cried because he thought it was unfair. I hope Pocchians win them in the gold medal games, then we can laugh at them because they diddn't win. And also because they are homos. That means they have sexual actions with each others, even though they are all mans with Jormas. In Finland no one like that can for example try to become a president, we all have sexual actions only with womans, go ask our current president if you don't believed in me.

Back to the SM-league. Saimaas Ball told news around christmas, the most bestest ice disc coach of them all, Ari-Pekka Backwards, who has been coaching Saimaas Ball for about 473 years, is not going to coach Saimaas Ball any more next year. Instead, the second bestest ice disc coach, Pexi Little Tirkko is cumming to replace him. This of course means that Saimaas Ball will win all the matches next year and in the end the boy will be raised to air in Racepark.

Nobody in the world cares about this SM-league season any more because everybody are just waiting for the next year and Saimaas Ball championship, so lets not waste our and foreign countryers times any more by talking about it.

 

[Johannes]

Yesterday I almost shakingly opened my free tryout 1 month iPad-subscription of English Guardian-newspaper. I shaked vigorously, because I thought they are in Great Britain now laughing at Finnish people, because of Mikael Granlund`s penalty shot that never made it. Oh boy, I was wrong. They are now so ashmed about us Finnish ice-hockey people that thet did not write a single word or did not publish any pictures of Mikael Granlund or Finland or our laughable U20-team of ice-hockey.

Now I am angry, because they laugh at us in secret and they allways think only about Finland and our ice-hockey all the time in United Kingdom, as everybody knows. They are just so discreet people that they do not laugh at Finnish ice-hockey team and Granlund openly. So it must be, because Guardian proved it yesterday-paper and it is a very reliable source, you know.

 

[Keltainen Jaffa]

The story of Barkov jr.

Maybe some of the foreigner readers of this chain would like to know something about the best 16-year-old player of the Cänädä U20- wc-tournament - Finnish Barkov jr.

The story begins in the NHL. First there was Barkov senior. Then he became Hordichuk (pronounced hornychuck, E. Oilers). Then IT grew Kovalchuk (that's Finnish for Hardlchuk, ya know). Then there were plenty of Lovejoy (P. Penguins) and in the end very much Semin appeared. Nine months later Boychuk (B. Bruins) came out from mrs. Barkov senior and Boychuk soon grew to SM-league player Barkov jr.

Long story short: Barkov -> Hornychuk-> Kovalchuk-> Lovejoy-> Semin-> Boychuk->Barkov jr.

Or that is what I have heard. I'm not sure if this is just another towergossip.

Edit. I think people can use this example also in sexual education classes in schools, much like the recent Jorma debate from this marvellous chain. Yes. SM-league can be very educative indeed.

 

[JHag]

I just came from China and all the people were talking about Junior worldchampionship -tournament and Granlund's missed penalty shot. I couldn't spend a single second alone after the Peking radio had released that there is a Finn living in hotel Peking. I needed to hire some safetyguards to go out and they shot about 765 people who were hanging in me with sadness in their eyes begging for answers or bullet. People were spending their nights on the sidewalks near my hotel desperately seeking the truth. Finally I couldn't take it any more, I organised a conference in Tiananmen square and all the 100.000 tickets were sold in 3 seconds. I promised to answer 2 questions and China's government had chosen in a fair election those two. China's television filmed the whole show directly and I answered these two questions:

1) Why did Raipe Helminen choose Joonas Donskoi as the second shooter?

My answer: He is a pretty good hockeyplayer.

2) What happened to Our Game? Why didn't Finland use their own worldwide concept which is the solution to everything?

My answer: If I knew that, I would be a wise man. Why did Adam take the apple from Eve? Why did an enormous asteroid kill all the dinosauruses? Why aren't Jessica Alba and Jennifer Lopez making love in front of cameras and broadcasting it directly to every channel of the world? Why does Alpo Suhonen exist? Why do women prefer big penises? There are some questions which are too difficult for us to answer.

 

[Uleåborgir]

2) What happened to Our Game? Why didn't Finland use their own worldwide concept which is the solution to everything?

My answer: If I knew that, I would be a wise man. Why did Adam take the apple from Eve? Why did an enormous asteroid kill all the dinosauruses? Why aren't Jessica Alba and Jennifer Lopez making love in front of cameras and broadcasting it directly to every channel of the world? Why does Alpo Suhonen exist? Why do women prefer big penises? There are some questions which are too difficult for us to answer.

Dont ask to the question with a question because retorinen question is only a Finlandish phenomono that peoples from outern countrys dont understand.

If I had to ask that question, i would sayed that because the junior Leions played in a narrow vat. They canned not to play Our Game. That can only be played in nature's ices like on the surface of The Lake Of Iran (Iraninjärvi) or Shields's'lake (Kilpisjärvi). Ray-mo Little Pearl and Micko Aspenrapid didnt remember that junior world championships in ice disc were played in a house. Once there was one ice disc house in our country too, but POCCNA (SSSR) took it from us in the Commercial Brake War. It was in Cuckoo Inlet's city after a nasty bombing in Fat-Quitetala's saving battle.

Now the Stoutses have pissed into Wilbur Hoswoodpecker's cerial. They didnt tell to Wilbur Hoswoodpecker that a gay seksual Lanttu (Swede) Alreadyhan Backgrove from the city of Brotherly Love (coincident? no) was coming to keep Stoutses paint. Hoswoodpecker had to read the news from the net. He pulled a pea into his nostril. He opened between the lines in Kalevala's (A Folklore legend in Finland that Patrik Elias Maplerot invented) pages that "This is professional disc, so you can keep your jack" Jack is a name of a pirate in living pictures but also a equipment used for lifting reindeers sleighs from snow in our beautiful country. Now Tommy Little Bear or Wilbur Hoswoodpecker have to be a residence keeper.

 

[Frankie]

Hello all you finnish hockey followers on abroad. I can see that my fellow HAAC supporters have told you already some vital information about our beloved team. Though I can see they’ve forgot mention some of the biggest names who has played in HAAC. So here is some of them:

1. Peter White: one of the greatest captures of Sir. Peter. White was a tremendous skater, and in fact the biggest plan behind Whites capture was the crucial faceoff in the seventh final game.

2. Brad Parsons: Sir.Peter was scouting and looking for to capture former NHL center Robert Reichel. Luckily Sir. Peter found a better one.

3. Dan Hacker: HAAC fans nicknamed him “Zippy”, because all he could do was to skate around the rink very fast. Dan also sometimes accidentally scored a goal.

4. Miikka Tuomainen: Tuomainen is one of the few captures missed by our current manager Tom NewBondage. This man looks like a humanoid, and even though he has amazing physical attributes, he still plays like a girl. There has been suspicion among HAAC fans, that someone has drugged him with diapams, but nobody hasn’t confirmed this suspicion.

 

[MPN]

4. Miikka Tuomainen: Tuomainen is one of the few captures missed by our current manager Tom NewBondage. This man looks like a humanoid, and even though he has amazing physical attributes, he still plays like a girl. There has been suspicion among HAAC fans, that someone has drugged him with diapams, but nobody hasn’t confirmed this suspicion.

Tuomainen has physics of Jaromir Jagr but personality of Winnie the Pooh.

 

[Johannes]

One of the greatest captures of The Sir Peter (Pentti) to HAAC (Scuba) was Jonni Vauhkonen. A great winger, who combines scoring with toughness, thought The Sir Peter, who unfortunately reminded in real life distantly Miikka Tuomainen as a player, also from Rauma Lock. They are great selling us 6"4, 230 pounds, Winnie-the-Pooh personality wingers.

One of my good friends from jatkoaika.com, a long-time season ticket holder of HAAC (Scuba), was a big fan of Vauhkonen (god knows why) and when Jonni actually got the ape (not Alpo) from his back in game #41 or something like that and actually scored 1 goal for HAAC (scuba), my friend was accidentally in the toilet-room during the play and missed the goal scored by Vauhkonen and so he, a big fan of Vauhkonen, did not see live Vauhkonen`s greatest moment in HAAC-shirt. That was about 10 years ago, so maybe my friend has already recovered from this unfortunate memory of the HAAC-team and Jonni Vauhkonen, a big legend of HAAC, in the early years of 21st century.

 

[Squit]

All my friends and amigos in other countries, i saludo you! I have bad bad stuff to you. Stuff looking really bad now! I mean my flavour clup Eiz Pee Gay (HPK) is going bad. We are before last now and lately our klap have played poorly. Poorly like romanian skirtpeople pegging money from finniss peepol. Lately nothing going right in Eiz Pee Gay. First thing is that we don't have money. I don't know why, maybe finnish people don't eat potato anymore, because they karpping. We become very rich because of potatos and we haved very nice coach Yugga Noblenen. He was really genious man and make Eiz Pee Gay a tough team. We played sexy and beautiful hoki and everybody liked us. We also won the gold and wienerpot when beating Aces in final! Now everything is change. We play stupid hockey and there is no light after tunnel. No more Noblenen, who is now all finnish peoples Gold-Yugga. He make Finland to forget -95 to give new party. Every people who drink Karelia, who have Lion medaljong on neck and who wears Thank you 1936-1945 hoodies salut him. Now we have here Nice-Harry Rincomputerbrand. Nice-Harry is nice guy (no shit Sherlock). He claps every players back and give positive stuff (not HIV positive, LOL). But he dosen't have any plan and nobody knows what his gamebook looks. Every player plays under own standard. Next couple weeks tell the truth. Do we go to elimination or do we have change to pity-playoffs.

I have had some troubles to sleep and eat because of my team poor performance. I really hope our playersearcher and eliteprospects.com follower Yanne "Toy" Gallopnen found some new confirmations what will affrim Eiz Pee Gay more. Bye and see you next time if don't get blind, LOL!

 

[Uleåborgir]

I have had some troubles to sleep and eat because of my team poor performance. I really hope our playersearcher and eliteprospects.com follower Yanne "Toy" Gallopnen found some new confirmations what will affrim Eiz Pee Gay more. Bye and see you next time if don't get blind, LOL!

Good writing! Almost in the level to cut and insert it into Continuetimes best letkautus's and other answering writings.

I'd like to rememberize two players that played in Oulu's Stoutses. They are Brett "Schlong" Lievers and well I dont remember the other. But anyways, he was a player that losted the elimination games while playing in Gulf's Badly Flying Bag Jaws that used to be Gulf's Frisky or Gulf's Disc-Frisky or Gulf's Hockey Frisky. Then he comed to Oulu's Stoutses. Schlong was very popular in Stoutses. He had testicle hair in his head like Tit "Tan-Tan" Johansson, a famous leg balls player in England's Valioleague. Schlong was a great attacker that feeded his chain pals with tasty feedings. Once his schlong was in the wrong place, but that from that.

That is all now, hope you guys have enough strength to write from Finlandish disc to our friends in outern world.

 

[Uleåborgir]

Why is there no discussion? Now the foreigners dont know, what we think about us selfes?

I would like to discuss about our favorite (not that difference bringer) type of player that is a toothless canuck. We like the most toothless canucks that whack the disc into byr from paint guardians area. Toothless canucks dont be afraid of haematomas and severe internal bleedings. They live for doing paints. In Oulun Stoutses once played Brad "The Elk" Smyth, that the whole Oulu City Metropol, North Scandinavias head town loved. He whacked discs into net so much that we had to bring elk warning traffic marks to the seeing places.

I also would like to rememberize our manic-depressive insane Ray-mo "Carcass" Little Amount , who leaded us to WC finalses in year 2004. He shaked Ya-nne Lindenland so hard, that he went also insane and organised a party to all Lionses. Ya-nne Lindenland is very famous Stouts player and once he tried to make a own byr behind the mud pond. He was sponsored to stoutses by Oh Fuck What Shit company that is known as "VMP" in Finland. They also sponsored a television shöy that was held by Jokers owner, a jawless man called Hjallis.

 

[Johannes]

We in HAAC often give rest-of-the-season contracts to Canuck- or born in the USA-players. They do not score many paints like half-of-Finland foreign players do for the Uleåborg-Team, but they are perky like Dan Hacker, "god knows what" like Brad Parsons or odd like Tyler Redenbach, who is a big guy with good hands, but he does not back-check, score or hit anybody with tackles. They are like Gullichsen-art-machines. Some HAAC-import players do not actually do anything to get paid and are useless, but people buy tickets to see them.

 

[JHag]

Hellou foreigners, if you think that it's been silence cause we are so shy in Finland, that's not true. We had a president-election last weekend and it was very interesting. We had 8 candidates:

-A finnishswedish desperatehouswives lookalike, who talked about women-stuff. Like recipes and menstruation, you know. Didn't listen to a word.
-A religious woman, who used to be an athlete 20 yrs ago. She competed in a sport in which the one who is the fastest walker wins. Yes, she is not the sharpest pencil around, running is faster.
-A dinosaur from the ancient socialdemocratic-party. He had been deep-frozen and taken out before the election
-Another dinosaur from an extincted farmer-party. He and the socialdemocratic candidate had very hard debates regarding the Old Testament -times. They both were present when Jesus was crusified and they argued whether he had brown speedos or black underpants. Very interesting!
-The dullest man in Finland from the conservative party. He has one highlight; 30 yrs younger babydoll -wife who knows how to smile. She has even been told to be capable of shaking hands with other people. Unofortunately there is no evidence of that.
-A youngish football hooligan who loves graffities and hates art. Maybe that's why he is the Minister of Culture.
-An older and fatter football hooligan from our local Nazi Party. Which is by the way our 2nd biggest party in the parliament. They are organising happenings in which we can burn our suspicious books and all the black people who happen to be around. Suspicious books are all that include only text.
-A gay from the Green party. His toyboyfriend has been bought from Ecuador and he also can smile when asked. A very charming boy who even has an own job! He satisfieds with his hands both men and women in his spa. You know, hairstuff

The best two were the Dull Conservative accompanied by his Babydoll-wife and The "sugardaddy" Gay with his Toyboy. It's gonna be a very tight second round with these two! They both are EU-fans and friends with all the living beings. Next election is 6 yrs away and since our former president was a hardcore-lesbian (she had a hamster which pretended to be her husband) and the new one will be a dull pedofile or a washproof gay, the future candidates are already gathering troops around them. Time goes fast! The political prognosis are saying that Jammu Siltavuori has a good chance next time! He is considered as a mild, conservative president for a change.

 

[FASlapsi]

Hello you everybody in the foreigners countryes!

Since this years SM-league interests no one anymore, because everybodies are just waiting for the next season when Saimaa's Ball will win every matches, even those where it isn't playing, there has been not so much to tell you about. One small hello for all you foreigners who live in the country called East-Power. There is nowadays one player in Saimaa's Ball from your country, so gongratulations! Simon Backman (not related to Ari-Pekka Backwards) was proclaimed as an East-Powerian by the explainers of the television, and because just like everything in message papers is the truth speaking, also everything from televisio is truth speaking also. So, next year, when the Boy will be saunaing in the sauna of Racepark, there will be one East-Powerian party people too. Maybe Simon is related to Adolf Hitler, who knows!

Also I must tell you about the presidents selections that is happening in the Finland right now. Two mostest best peoples have now been through the playoffs, and they are ready to face each other in the gruesome finals. Its very exciting! One of the peoples called Sauli is a bug-eyed child molester who survided tsunami, and one another called Pekka is a homosexual, who is so tolerant that he will tolerate this, and then his children will be next. And that means his children will be Jesus Christuses or something, because his wife happens to be an Ecuadorian hair salonger, who is not a woman, but a man. And if he gets childrens, it would totally be the new Miracle on Ice, and the childrens would then be the saviours of the world. And that would then mean that Pekka is the God. Can you imagine that one countrys president would be God? Finland would then win in every sports and all swedish homos would be locked in the basement of Pekka and his ecuadorian man-wife.

But have no worries, the bug-eyed child molester will any way win the Stanley Cup and the Boy and he will go saunaing with his daughter-wife in the President Castle sauna, after that old red headed lesbian and his culissi hamster boyfriend has been thrown up from the Castle.

I have a strong feeling that not just Saulis daughter-wife will be in sauna, there might also be Saulis old wife. Not the dead one, but the one who was in the magazines with little clothes and then she was a minister. I cannot remember her name, maybe it was Suzki?

 

[keigykedy]

This extremely informative chain seems to have expanded to other SM-league teams discussion boards as well.

This would have fitted in this thread perfectly.
The link is to the Tampere Lynx forum :

Pääomistaja Vincent Manngard

 

[Stigu]

Deer paevakirja, I write to you after a long time. Reason for mine writing is that Let it be (or was is yesterday? Or Lady Madonna?) my lowely team HAAC beat the shit out of this crap team from Beach-of-Lappee, called Got Indeed.

Game was one of the best in the 21'th centario- if not the bestest: There were more than 120 spektatore, that did not fall asleep during game. HAAC was in very big trable with the slimy homosexuals of Lappee, but during the Expansion Era HAAC players made very clever yuoni: One HAAC player hit another HAAC player into eye with his stick, so Got Indeed spelare got a Penalti. And we painted during that Penalti!! (BTW this word "Penalti" come from a insidentti from HAAC history: we use to have a coach called Sir Pena, who ruin our team for 7 year bringing poverty, rutto, AIDS, all kinda trable, and bad luck to whole team.That's why we say that any bad thing that happen to a person or team is call Penalti.)

Faslapsi so proud of some East Power spelare in her team, but HAAC's goalie come from Bundeswehr,mother country of East Power, and HAAC's mostest bestest player come from S-Knife second division. Even though spelare in S-Knife earn lot of money, this skillfulled, mean mothefucka join HAAC. He aicoinaan played also for Got Indeed, but he says mostest of players in Lappee are a) either homosexuals, or b)preparing Hydrogens and Atoms for tourists. And don't get me wrong, even though they produce lot of Hydrogens and Atoms in Beach-of-Lappee, there are no (I repeat: no) nuclear physics in that Town.

Tietoiscu : You can get an idea of the amount of Hydrogens and Atoms that they produce annually in Beach of Lappee by the following comparison exempel: If all the Hydrogens and Atoms produced during one year in Beach of Lappee were put into a row (one after another, distance between peraccaiset Hydrogens 10 cm) around the Earth equator, all the Neekers around the equator area (including some of the readers of this chain) would be very surprised.

 

[FASlapsi]

Oh noes, now I am so angried. I am so angried, I telephoned to Pekka Haavisto, and even he was mildly annoyed when I was telling my angrys reason. Dont you believe how scary it is when God is mildly annoyed!!

But just so rude and homo was this message of Stigu. What a son of a Nexar he is! Last night hes team HAAC won Saimaa's Ball unfairly, all the mallets in the rink were giving penalties to Saimaa's Ball all the time, even during period breaks (this does not mean that boring time of month when your wife has bleedings from his cat), but however, the magnificent and good Saimaa's Ball players were so good that they were still winning. But then one of the mallets took the disc in his hand, other mallets removed the paint guardian of Saimaa's Ball from the net with violence and the mallet with the disc skated inside the paint, and then paints were given to HAAC, and mallets telled "Now HAAC won." Can you believed in it!! This is what happens when one team has money and faxes and Penas and all players getting several miljards in year, and the other has only ice hockey sticks for six players at the time and onlu brief history with Pena "Föne-Mullet-Fax" Matikainen.

All the other HAAC peoples, including the players and the supports peoples and the shit eater have been very ashamed about the game, but not this Stigu. No, he comes here and tells all the foreigner peoples lies and stupid stories about the matz. He does not care that now all the foreign peoples think that Saimaa's Ball is a shit team full of Pekka Haavistos backdoor friends! It is not true! I hate you Stigu! Oh Moderators, give me cake, give me fines, devil, I don't care, I am so angried about these Mickey Mouses!!

However, even with all Stigus stupid lies and wrong speakings about homosexualities, he did have one thing in correct. If all the Hydrogens and Atoms from Lappees Beach would be transported to equator, it would be very surprising, because there would be no left, because all the Sami Kapanens paint guardian brothers would have already eaten them. Baradogs!

 

[Stigu]

I very happy now, cosca FASlapsi so sad and angried. This is the heart (or Atom) of Finlandese Disc: When your team win, you very happy and smiling. And when you think that other teams fans are sad because they lost (like B often does) , then you become twice as happy and smiling! And then when you tell fanny jokes about the looser (B) teams and fuck with their fans, you can even double your happines, so you can become 2x2xhappy=4xhappier than in the beginning. The experts say, that this way you can become as much as 32xhappy! That is why we finlandese are so happy- we can multiply our happiness. You foreigners cannot do this and that's why you mothafuckas are often so sad. And that's what makes me twice as happy.And now that I fuck with you, it makes me 4 times happier. See, it is easy! You can try this in your sawi-maja with chicken or aasi or one of your fiwes.Then you can become as happy and smiling ass we finlandese.

Talking about fiwes, another Tietoiscu about animal differencies in Finland (nothing to do with Faslapsi's Bara-dogs): In Beach of Lappee, all women have bleeding cats. In civilized part of Finland (Stadi- often defined as the area where RA-Woodpeckers travel) women have bleeding beavers. We never have bleeding cats. That is kind of a hillybilly-sign if you have in your home a bleeding cat.

And least but not at last - I hope that moderators will not give cake to FasLapsi (although he was angred at me), because just like the Faslapsi song says : If you moderate this, then your children will be next.

 

[JHag]

And what's new! Old Nazi Timo Soini joins Butthead in the presidential election! Anything can happen in a modern world. Butthead's former wife (not the dead one) was called Tanya..don't remember her surname, cause she changes it rapidly. I remember big tits and empty head.

But anyhow, today HAAC plays against Lestadion-people from north. They have already sent their messengers all around Helsinki area. They are ringing doorbells telling: "Want to hear about Oulu Weasels?" Everybody says no, and it's very easy for them to follow: "What about Jesus then?" If you have two options: Weasels or Jesus , you will also choose Jesus. Even Weasels or Adolf Hitler would go to Hitler six to zero as we hockeypeople say. Soon the Helsinki area will be a Lestadian periferia. Reindeers walking on streets and women giving birth. The abortion is allowed only if you do it yourself with a garden-hoze.

I asked another longtimer as HAAC-fan, what will happen, if the shit eater continues his career as the coach of HAAC. Will our children choose Batmans enemies? He said: "if you tolerate shit, your children will be next". Unfortunately we don't change our team in a family line. If a HAAC-fan has a child who becomes a fan of Batmans enemies, the child has a good chance to become a martyre like Joanne of Arc.

 

[Johannes]

Tomorrow we have a winter-classic ice-hockey in Helsinki. HAAC against Batmans Enemies like last year, what a bore. The game is only being played outside, because there is still piss, puke and other disgusting stuff in Nordis-icerink. There was a bunch of musicians and writers, so called gay-Haavistos friends were partying in Nordis on monday, "Goodbye to Weapons, welcome back Lenin"-kind of happening and they are still cleaning the mess in Nordis, so HAAC and Batmans Enemies have to play outside the game in the Olympic Stadium-ice, where only perhaps 33 tickets will be sold or was it 33 thousands ticket, two threes and three zeros. So, ice-hockey is totally out and sold-out tomorrow and it is dead freezing with a snowstorm and heavy chilling wind are expected as weather. That kind of weather is what we finnish people love and expect during winter-time, so we sing and drink too much alcohol and watch ice-hockey outside, only polar-bears and other sissy animals stay inside and watch Total-Bear Channel-TV.