SM-liiga in English

[Tshekki77]

HAAC got raped by TBC

It were truly "shit eating hockey".

but luckily I made a profit in Longpull.

You lucky bastard! I lost all my longpulls tonight and that's not all. I allso gave 99e to braveTV for the remaining games of HAAC for this season. What a waste of perfectly good money. But can I blame myself, for my government is wasting money on Greece and other diseases?

 

[Rontti]

This liga is better than never. We have goalscorer like Zaborsky, he score like nobody, or no man can do in no othen league. But Aessaet can sale him, if russians pay well. I think they will.

Few words about HPK. I think we have good change to go pittyplayoffs. If Scott Barney wakes up before it's 2 late. Don't vant to say anything about Zagrapan.

 

[Noosebleed 68686]

Few words about HPK. I think we have good change to go pittyplayoffs. If Scott Barney wakes up before it's 2 late.

But I think he's not gonna wake up too soon, cause he's gonna have a massive hangover after being a driver on our pre-Christmas party. Even Eric Perrin has a great headache after that.

 

[Giroux]

Last night, the Helsing's Yokers won the team of half Finnish, Oulu's Kaerpaet. The match was very tight. First goal was scored by John-Pete Duunar and its was assisted by Ivan "Ivan Huml" Huml, the czcech guy. Yokers 1-1 tying goal was scored by Tom Hill, assisted by Johan Turner. It was a quick turnaround handshot goal and Kaerpaet's goalholder Tom Bearing couldn't do anything about it.

The game winner goal was then scored by Yokers prospect, 17 year old Stevie Sharp from assists of Tom Stone and Ben the Eave's. Yokers' goalholder Francis Birchland made 16 saves on third and final period. Yokers' guun Jake Rudy took a stupid penalty by almost footballing Kaerpaet's defenseman, Oscar Eklund's leg out. After that, Ozzy Vaeaenaenen took stupidier penalty by butt-ending Mike Salohill in the belly. Kaerpaet had a 6 on 3 powerplay but their goalmaking ability was so bad that Yokers' goalholder Birchland did not have any kinds of problems to keep his goal tidy and clean. So after all, Yokers won 2-1. The bestest player of the game was selected by people of roskamagazine and it was Yokers' Stevie Sharp.

Yokers securitas their fourth position on the sarjataulukko. In front of them are just Gamecans, Hitsars and Ball of Kaleva.

 

[peksa]

Aleksander Barkov, sweet sixteen. Greatest 16y old player in Sm-liiga. Todays total, 2 goals and 3 stars.

Future -> Finnish superstar like Mikael Granlund

 

[PJPT]

HAAC got raped by TBC

…and the best part is, that the rape was performed without Marko Kiprusoff!! Only God knows what would have happened if Marko was in the line up..


He wasn’t “the avenger“ for nothing.. For example his slap shot was feared all across the country, mainly because he used it "only when necessary". But when this “secret weapon” was fired, no one was safe!!



You don’t believe me.. Here’s the proof: Marko Kiprusoff & the Slap Shot

 

[Mazaa]

In Vilmanstrand very near of Russias border we have best fans of Finland. They aren't best to support their team, but best of recognize players sexual orientation and little bit more something like that.

This skill is very special when they play against Helsinki iddrots kamrater. Then there are many fans who yell to Kim Hisrs... I can't even write that players name correctly.
Well anyway, those fans have recognized his sexual orientation and they yell and name him 'Homoooowitch' or 'Geeeeiwitch'. Those fans are so skilled of that, that they also know his profession what of course is witch - I dont know why.

And they also know very sure that who the player has f*cked on last week couple of weeks, usually they have been cousins or brothers.
Last rumours told that there was one horse two weeks ago, when coach put him on fourth line (Player, not the horse). But I dont believe of it. In my mind it could be more like cow.

 

[Spiit]

Sam of you American people maybe think why there's so much of people awake at night in Suomi-Finland-Perkele. That happens when its a hoki nait. Down by the way Hoki night used to mean the barbecue guy Juti and Mika LittleUtter in orange suits fucking enjoying and enjoying JariCurry-like-from-near-to-up-kiss-kiss-don't-"lähre shinne"-goals but nowadays hoki night usually means people watching Aenaeri hoki which is played behind the big waters. We like Aenaeri hoki because players are allowed to touch each others and they can shoot.

Suomi-Finland-PERKELE is a strange land because here we don't play Aenaeri hoki daytimes, but only at the night. We are a bit jealous to you Americans because you play Aenaeri at the day and you don't have to stay-up all the night. Stay-up is very good when it cums to girls but a pure hoki guy no stay-ups. We think stay-ups a little gay. If you don't believe me you can ask Armyfriend but he might be fucking and cunt answer you immediately.

But to be honest - we here in With-To-Perkele-Finland always honest and never cheat - when its a work day normal people do not stay-up. But people in Pori can stay-up every night because they don't have work days there in Pori. The only sad thing is that Pori people can't anyveis watch Aenaeri hoki because they don't have mani to buy Viasat, CanalMinusPlus, Four, MikeGaryMax, BraveTv and all the other channels to watch a single one Aenaeri game. So they just hang around and be very crazy. But now me go to find some stream because from the small streams it cums a big river, like Teno.

 

[pete666]

Here´s some powerful finnish disc seems to be´s:

- Kale Weirdo: Jabba the hut, will be in the wire even after his death...

- Peter "sauces brother" Sihvonen: Leading anal guy of the disc scene.

- John Small-Oaks: Comes from big family, because almost every player is his brother.

- Brother Fat: "kiss kiss, don´t go there", "stick to ice and name to the leaf" and "top grandma" - do I need to say more?

Well, there´s a few "legends" please continue if you feel so...

 

[Spiit]

Well, there´s a few "legends" please continue if you feel so...

What about Rhyme-O LittlePearl who attended olympics almost before Juan Antonio Samaranch was born. Also known for his incredible flat passes in Finnish national team and iPa.

 

[pete666]

What about Rhyme-O LittlePearl who attended olympics almost before Juan Antonio Samaranch was born. Also known for his incredible flat passes in Finnish national team and iPa.

Who can forget?

- The legendary paint watcher JOHN OAK, From Tampere lynx lynx, who weared only egg protection while playing the son back in 95.

 

[verikuut]

Who's hot, who's not

Latest Finnish Championship League topics this week for those who cannot read our language for good.

I tell up tops and bottoms, high five both:
TOP 1. Jan Latvala (Finnish Chicaco Pelican) is very old and still he has strings to skate and score. Also he defense.
TOP 2. Gap finlands academic no smokers stick disturbing club have only one recognized player in their organication (Ari Vatanen) and still they are on pity playoff place. The load is huge.
TOP 3. Mikko "3 feet high" Koskinen played yesterday again zero game, that was his third nolling so far. There has been seven games.
TOP 4. Finland builds more nuclear power and we may see some day ice hockey in Holy River like Rauma today. This was not about this week but earlier.
TOP 5. Tomas Zaborsky leads point stockings with one arm only. Re-spect.

LOW 1. Burgers (Flying Wheels) are broken bubble, two games and two loose this weekly
LOW 2. As long as there are dolphins in Näsijärvi (Lake something), there is hope living in Tampere. Two teams, 62 games played and 68 points places them in positions 11 and 13 in standing. To gather they would be in seconds place, they still don't understand fusion.
LOW 3. Ball Club Åbo pays big numberous foreigns and they are still peace of shit.
LOW 4. Clubs whistle straight to fuck and stand watcher defends them all through they are blind amateurs.
LOW 5. League includes many nations goalkeepers and same time Finland is known to raise elite goalies out of from nowhere. Big pumps in governments think big name and big salary gives biggest results.

 

[Clocks]

Who can forget?

- The legendary paint watcher JOHN OAK, From Tampere lynx lynx, who weared only egg protection while playing the son back in 95.

Yes, this was a very special moment. Oak played the son with his pants off, while the rest of the team around him sang "It slides in, it slides in". This was to become a national anthem for the years to come.

Putte Pig scored the 4-1 goal and ventilated with care.

 

[Kourujärven Ponnistus]

Pori's roofed icerink is famous for it's minus degree temperatures, just like you're not inside at all! You can actully go back in time and feel how the hockey was played in the 1940's.
And don't forget about the refreshments. You can actually buy beer there after queing for twenty minutes.
One of the funny details of the rink, is a handycap-toilet slash electric center. Picture of toilet mentioned
After the game, if your heart hasn't stopped because of the weather anomalies happening "inside" the rink, there is a possibility you might end up meeting some of the local heroes. These unembloyed welders come in pairs and are usually wearing no hair, execpt in the back of their head, cause it "looks cool". They use their mouth for provoking and their hands for agressive windmilllikemovement trying to give you a hard time. They are very tuff men. Normally these provokings happen in the local weinerkiosk well after the match and in the center of the village square, so be prepaid.

 

[stairox]

In Finland every teams fans wants that their coaches should be hiawathed from the hair into a pussy. No matter if the team is playing well or shitty.

(At Overtime we have to explain what you see if you click on a link. This link leads to a picture of a young boy with little clothes). Little cloathes is Kylmänen in finnish.

 

[stairox]

And, of course, in Finland we have this phenomen called Seashore. He is a legend. He is a guy who speak all the time in television when Finlands Lions play towards the other cunties. The other cunties are you who read this thread.

On the juutuubi (dont know the english name for that site) there are lots of clips when he gets orgasms when our lovely national team scores. I understand you other people have a little problems (Little problems is Ongelminen in finnish) what he means, so now I help you out.

First.
In 1995 we won our first championships and Seashore shouted Ihanaa Leijonat Ihanaa. This even ended up into a worldwide hit, as you can see. I think it sold a couple of million copies (it was before you could steal your own copy on the internet). It could of course be a little less, but who cares. I am not really sure what Ihanaa, Leijonat, Ihanaa is in english, but in german it is somthing like Soo Herlich, Frankfurt Lions, Soo Herlich!

Second and last.
In 2011, 16 yards later, when we won the other championships and Seashore was high as a scyscraper again. This time he shouted Taivas Varjele mitä sieltä tulee. This one I can translate: Heaven Protect, what is it coming out of that. Makes sense, yeah!

Hope you foreigners soon understand us finishers. We do our best. Always.

Edit:
Gadmadörfaking. I just realized that I have been offtopicking. This thread was about SM-liiga, not our national team. Give me cake, satan!

 

[Jaws]

There are also few sport makasines witch are veri good. At first I have to mention Eveningleaf. Eveningleaf has lots of good journalists and they never talk bullshit. They also don't read Overtime and pick their news from here.

Another good makasine is defieneiniaetaly Sportleaf. Sportleaf has brobably the best journalists in our loskainen (means biutiful in English) country. There are many good writers, such as Peter "Leading Hockeydude" Sihvone. And other writers are Esko "ES" Smithnen. He uses also tvitter. And don't forget Jukka Roenkae. There are some rumors about him writing Leading's headlines because they are so perfect. What about headlines such as "SM-League's yellownose rapes Finnish ice hockey" or "SM-Leagues most tired fathead crops "angerspeaks" to ice hockey.

I hope you read those great makasines instead of reading Overtime's writers' bullshit.

 

[verikuut]

There are also few sport makasines witch are veri good.

Public under: Evening~Messages, almost ass god ass Eveningleaf butt there is no young naked girl in sports pages. Instead they have better crossword puzzles witch can be solved without LSD. Also the SS-magasine, local voice of corkscrews, is famous because of its few elite sportswriters who wears both flower hats and grass hats same time. They are at their best when fights happen during hockey game.

 

[Baldrick]

In JYP's facebook page some czech people have asked about JYP and streams to see the games, so maybe they have been reading this topic also? :D Hopefully not...

But no proplem, keep up the guud works.

 

[Stigu]

I am not really sure what Ihanaa, Leijonat, Ihanaa is in english, but in german it is somthing like Soo Herlich, Frankfurt Lions, Soo Herlich!

Nein nein, I think you wrong. I am dosi good in meni tongues, like finnish (mother tongue), englsih (exelent, I study it 26 years in Suomi schule system which is best in whole world), svedski (briljant) and also doitch. In my life I watch many ( 1 176 altogether) doitch movies filled with love and pasion and no clothes, and the doitch man always say in diese movies "Ich komme Ich komme Die Taifun" when he express lowe feeling. So this is how Ihanaa Leijonat is translated into doitch: "Ich komme Ich komme die Taifun". You make a small misteik there. But I am not give you cake for that.

Clocks mention Putte Pig also. For all you other countryers Overtime readers, Putte Pig used to be a Disc player, but then he got fat, started using nuusk, and started rilling sausages. This is so fanny but one day he was so drunk he say on teevee that "we have been sleeping and going onwards". It make all finnish Disc watchers very happy and we were all laughing for meni months. Putte Pig is from Tampester, which is not so fanny.

 

[Jeppe_68]

What the *u*ck is this all about? Some highscool kid wanted to do their best in English, cause they did not catch the presence?

What have these writers done for the sm-liiga anyway? Being so fucking brilliant of their skils to write some intellegtuent piece of crab concerning the fact that there are some foreing hockey players in the league, who speak English and to whome they really like to be compaired.

You kids should really go to gollege. Its nice to meet people from different cultures and learn how to get best out of you. It might not been hapened in seconds, but let the time lead you upon your long way. You know, there is, and always will be the "loosers, who dont know, how to expire themshelws as in English". But yet to be learned, if you are openminded, have some elemetary skills in English, Russian, Swedesh, Spanish or even in Norway, you have a quite a many possibilities and more opportunities that you never have known.

So please, stop wasting your time to write wrong to arseholes made contribution chains like this and start use you abibilities to there, where it might work.

 

[pete666]

start use you abibilities to there, where it might work.

aim sori but, vaimo ei anna...giv juu nou?

 

[Jeppe_68]

aim sori but, vaimo ei anna...giv juu nou?

No cant help in this situation. Tbi moses prosit tBoe zena bilo spakoina? Esli Net, prosit y nego esli ana snojyt xorosava diebysko, kto moses daiyt? Vai mitä?

 

[pete666]

No cant help in this situation. Tbi moses prosit tBoe zena bilo spakoina? Esli Net, prosit y nego esli ana snojyt xorosava diebysko, kto moses daiyt? Vai mitä?

Jes söör ai kan buugi!

 

[FASlapsi]

Oh noes! Now, we have a real tongue's man in here! Not only doesn't she speak many many other countries languages, he also writes intellegienctual pieces of textes in crab language! I am very convinced, I can only write little lopster, and speak couples of sentences in sea orchid, but to master the language of crabs, that is something!

And he is a welder, also. I am so impressed that I might just impress to death.

Sorry for the off-topic, all you foreign countryers, lets get back on the raides and talk about ice disc.

Today is played the last game before the land match break. It is played in Hesa, where Batmans enemies play against Saimaas Ball. I am going there, and if I still have no suspensions, I will write a short report for all you about the game. I have one teddy bear (and I dont mean old hairy homo who haves hair like Elvis) with me, and I am going to throw up on it to the ice so that some childrens will get it for their christmas presents. We Finlanders like to participate in good doings, so please think about us so that we are good.

Thats it! Very good sunday for all you!