SM-liiga in English

[Uleåborgir]

...

JHag I hate your trollses, please dont bark us people from Uleaborg and other Lapland, we dont even have light for 11 months now. And you know, the one that barks is oneself!

Suomussalmi that is Scale inlet in Englands tongue, is the home city of allready mentioned Anaheims Mighty Dugs 1st round (1991) reservation Yanne Little Change that also starred with Mario Lemieux in the Bingwins. Its also home city of most talented F Ykkös driver Haykki Little Hard. He learned himself to drive Ykköses by reindeer sleighs that were back drived by wolfs and angry Rysses. After races ones eated reindeers. But it from that about Ykköses. After all this is ice disc board (jää kiekko lauta). Yanne Little Change learned to play ice disc by sweeping little landmines from ice with a wooden stik of 4th Finlandses lake Kiantajordan's surface. Once he had an accident. That is why he wanned to remove from USSR border Oulu to south to Helsingforce and thats why he hands the disc with very much alerts.

 

[Uleåborgir]

Brilliant observations, but have to make another here:

4) If the referee makes a horrible call, then you should yell: "Mallet, Mallet" while pointing the ref with your hand.

5) If a paint guardian lets an easy disc to the paint, peoples yell: "Vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaner" and shows their center fingers to the paint guardian.

 

[FASlapsi]

Hey all you foreign country människor, hope you still think about us that we are good people's.

I want to also give hinttis about what to yell in a hockey disc match in Finland:

5) If the opposition paint guard is very bad, it is very funny to start yelling him "Sieve!" For examples, "Hey Noronen, you are a sieve, sieve, you pussys sieve!" Also if you are a bad fan and not a Wildman, you can yell sieve to your own's paint guard if he is not good. If you happen to be Wildman, you must make love notes to everybody all the time.

6) If referee makes bad whistle blows, there is another options to yell than "Mallet". These include "Wood-eye", "Horse with black and white stripes" and "Where is your guide dog?"

I must also tell you about this funny tradition we have here in Finland. In the play-offs, when one team falls out, it is good sport mans ship to throw blowed up beach toys on the ice, like beach balls, swimming tires and Barbaras that can be pumped. Sometimes there are confusions, once upon a clock some one was so jetlagged that they started throwing tires, but not swimming tires, but real tires of a car, even though it was not a playoff game. Also the game had not stopped, and instead of ice, the tire was thrown on the head of Pasi "Broken shoes" Nurminen, who got so upset he drank alkohol and drove a buss into the icehall rink. Later, snow fell from the icehalls floor on top of the Urho TV van, and after that everyting that Urho has done has been shit. So be careful when you start to throw shit up on the ice hall.

This sunday the Batmans enemies have a contest, which is to throw stuffed animals on to the ice when Batmans enemies score a paint. I heard the most meanest looking stuffed animals are then collected, and they are used to replace Jarkko Diamond as the tough-guy of the team if his hiding lenses are dropped on the ice by some retard.

EDIT: Oops, some lestadian was sooner than me, and now my numberings are all wrong. I wonder what all of you are now thinking about me.

 

[Uleåborgir]

I must also tell you about this funny tradition we have here in Finland. In the play-offs,

Other tradition here in north Finland is to sing our national anthem's soon "home land this NORTHERN!!!" very hard to pussy off the peoples from south. It has started several cryings in the southern states of Finland. There has been many anger mindnesses after the fusion of nazi minded north and red South that happened in year 1995 when Europes Union made an anschlüss to Finlands peninsula.

 

[Johannes]

In HIFK-games we shout: "upstairs yell to us" and "downstairs yell to us". Then we shout "drive", when we want to see visitor team players get hurt with HIFK-tackles.

 

[Bismarck]

I want to talk about one really serious matter. Once there was old good times, when Helsinki's sporting comrades had so called 'edarimeininki'. In those times playing and to be a team member was fun. I mean really really fun. All the other teams tried to do everything to win the trophy, nick named 'Boy', but my favourite team's players thought, that was pretty homo.

Philosophy of 'edarimeininki' keeps inside two important things. One, you don't want to win trophy, because it shortens your time to party. Second, bringing boy home is so gay, that is better bring Suski to sauna. Suski is decent and generous lady, who let everyone of the team bang her. I'm just saying, a real trophy. I must say, that I miss those times. Nowadays my favourite team is so tight and professional, that they even won championship last season. No one even brought Suski to sauna. What has this world come to?

 

[Johannes]

We usually think that it is better to win bronze than gold and that is why we like our HIFK-team to take stupid penalties all the time. It is better to lose with dignity than to win pussy gold-metals in sm-liiga. That is why we win gold metals between about 14 years, 1983, 1998 and then again 2011.

 

[Uleåborgir]

EDIT: Oops, some lestadian was sooner than me, and now my numberings are all wrong. I wonder what all of you are now thinking about me.

I be now very shamed to be a Finlands citicen.

And I dont be a lestadian. I have looked television, drinked alkohols and putted a girl with rubber. She was also eating e-tablets. Thats why we only haved 12 childrens, but she left me in the age of 22 :(

Modifying:

Finlanders ice disc companys's cheer leaders must be in minimum 45 year olds. Womans can also recommend president nominees to their marriage mans if they accomplish the age of 45 that is very rare though.

 

[JHag]

Former president Kekkonen was also from Kainuu and he was excellent cross-country skier!

What the fuck? Isn't Kekkonen president any more? Who then? Maybe Johannes Virolainen? Johannes Virolainen is also ranked as number one in Tommi Läntinen lookalike -contest.

There are indeed some reindeers in Kainuu, but those are only for hunting. It's very common hobby in Kainuu to drink vodka and shoot Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeers from your terrace. It's really fun, you should try sometimes!

Thanks for the tip, I'll try ! First I have to organize a trip to Kainuu. I guess I need a pair of good skies and a sherpa-guide, who speaks the local language. Is it unpolite to give some gifts to the locals? I was thinking of Helsinki Phonecatalog from year 1982 and a real flashlight. And maybe some chewing gum. I said gum, not cum you perverts!! And I'm not barking anyone who is living in Lapland - take that out of me! I don't even know anyone in there, so I got nothing to bark at. I do know a few persons, who have escaped from upnorth, but they can't be counted cause they speak stadi more fluently than even Raimo Ilaskivi does? Usually they get caught from being from Lapland, cause they forget to change their names. My new neighbor told me he's from Vantaa. But his name is Oula Jäkkälämäkkäläjärvi and he has 22 children and a dog called Lars-Leevi and a Volvo. I seriously doubt his story.

There are still some hockeyheroes from Finland, who absolutely need to be mentioned! Juhani "Tami" Tamminen = John "Ok" Smalloak. He invented ice hockey sometimes in the 60's and he is kind enough to share his wisdom to all of us. Everyone in Finland, no matter the age or sex (but don't ask during it!), can tell that four passes break any defence and keep it simple stupid. Stupid reminds me of Alpo Suhonen = Dogfood Something. He is a hilarious old alcoholic and left-wing nobody, who has funny, strange and always false opinions about everything in hockey. And not only hockey, he is the leading imbesill on every branch. Alpo used to be a coach in NHL around 1952 and he still rides on that thunder with absolutely no knowledge about the game in 2011. He says that capitalism destroys pure hockey and that's why he has always worked for free. Alpo is from Forssa, which is known as the vice-asshole of Finland with Turku being the main asshole. In my opinion Forssa is far worse than Turku, which is full of beautiful women. The only normal beings you meet in Forssa are horses, cause Forssa is a famous horseraceplace. There is also a possibility to meet some original Finnish gypsies - they are nice and openminded people who will stick a kinfe into you and steal your money in a blink of an eye. Don't be a racist, let it happen. Anyway, Alpo was the first person in Forssa, who learned to read and use a handshake when meeting other people. That's why he is considered a wise man - but only in Forssa.

 

[Jaws]

TBC roster

There are currently playing some interesting players in Turku's Ball Company (TBC). TBC has lots of foreign players but it also has some great Finnish players. TBC's roster for this season, I used google translator on most names (I didn't translate canadian players):

coaches:
Beck Current (head coach)
Mike Powermountain (assistant coach)
Jerk Topnen (goalie coach)

goalies:
#33 Mark Black
#35 Christian Lakenen
#41 Alexis Ahltwig

defenders:
#4 Thomas Moses
#6 Mick Huczkowsky
#20 Nick Freeman
#22 Tim Smithnen
#24 John Bird-Cherrynen
#25 Brother-Matt Vittashill
#26 Marcus Palmroot
#54 Mike Grovenen
#55 Rasmus Rickkindof
#79 Mario Scalzo

forwards:
#7 Johnny Grove
#12 Mark Donohoe
#16 Michael Birner
#18 Jacob Black
#19 Mike Liquornen
#27 Mark Currentla
#28 Will Waxbay
#34 Thomas Finlandnen
#39 Thomas Plihal
#52 John Wall'la
#53 Sandy Burnbeatenareala
#61 Tim Backwoods
#71 David Valley
#85 Ryan Stone
#87 Jack Hatnen
#? Peter Ocean

I am sorry for some untranslated Czech-born players. But this is our roster, and it sounds great! I also didn't mention "The Messiah", who is currently on loan in Switzerland's first division. We are all hoping him to be back soon, aren't we?

 

[Johannes]

In Forssa the people call the "city" vorssa themselves. They are not able to say F-letter. I think even Alpo shouted in NHL-training "Vuck you asshole" to Mats Sundin. The only way they use in vorssa letter f is with a machine called fiideot, where they still look 80`s hockey from vhs-tapes.

 

[Clocks]

Hi again guys, both in Europe and overseas. The EU and euro are crumbling, but I know the real question in your minds is: "What's up in SM-liiga?" Let's see.

In about thirty minutes I'll be heading down to Nordenskioeldinkatu. Tonight's matchup is HAAC-TBC. TBC has been a tough cookie for us this season, but tonight we will buttfuck them royally. Do you know what TBC's goal song is? It's "TBC-goal it is honey". The lyrics go a little something like this:

Honey, honey
Hey uncle, pull victory's notes already to organ
The opponent did not come over here to Turku in vain
One gets to see how one's own net swings
These Abo's own are a fair bunch
Although sometimes even during the game the masseurs shout:

Goal, goal, goal it is, goal it is
Honey, honey, honey for me
Honey, honey, honey for you
Uh-oh, oh violin!
Goal, goal, goal it is, goal it is
Honey, honey, honey for me
Honey, honey, honey for you
Uh-oh, violin is played!

I still remember everything when they looked on Saku's ice (what?),
And ass hit straight on top of the puck
Already back then it was the beginning of a long streak of wins,
Although sometimes a few arms and legs were broken
On the blade of my old Bauer it still says...

Goal, goal, goal it is, goal it is
Honey, honey, honey for me
Honey, honey, honey for you
Uh-oh, oh violin!
Goal, goal, goal it is, goal it is
Honey, honey, honey for me
Honey, honey, honey for you
Uh-oh, violin is played!

This game is life and spirit to us
There's no master, no hired man in it
When the lead goal is scored the gypsum falls off, they shout
"the crowd and TBC are one" and boys want some more of that sweet stuff...

Goal, goal, goal it is sweet honey

It's an absolutely catchy tune performed by a fantastic artist called Erkki A Little Too Much, look it up.

See you at the rink, red on top!

 

[kimbe66]

In Jyväskylä Hurriganes we have had all the great ones.

The team was founded (of course) by Remu Aaltonen, a giant man of hockey, with his team mates Cisse and Albert. But since Remu is now retired from ice disc business, and only considering in rhythm and blues and rock'n'roll, and his team mates are dead (so, so sad), we now have new team leaders.

There's Jock Littlesmith, the team owner and a well respected car sales man. Not to mention Rocks Tiny, our pr and sales manager.

The team's coach is George Meadow. He is a first timer in this position, but i think he will sweep the floor with other coaches anyway.

Some of my favourite players are
#32 Mill touched
#6 Little touched
#51 Seeable
#23 Mined danger
and
#17 Stay sk animal en.

Hope this gives you a little insight of Hurriganes, we used to be at the bottom mud of the league, but nowadays we are just in the mud. And we handle a lot!

 

[Noosebleed 68686]

Then there's Aessaet from Pori. Representing the west coast, Aessaet has propably the most dedicated home crowd in the league. This is due to the fact that every man, woman and child in Pori is an unemployed welder, leaving everyone free to focus all their energy on their crappy little team. There's a saying about the Pori Madness, but truth be told they are just retarded. Aessaet is also locked in a fierce rivalry with the neighbouring native village of Rauma (population 853), but nobody cares.

You forgot to mention that the name "Aessaet" is a plural of S-letters, so their real name is Pori SS. On this season they've gone very well on the other teams war areas so they've shot and gunned a lot of goals.

 

[Spiit]

Meni have written about SM-league teams and players but there are also much of other important things in the hoki scene of Finland.

When talking about Finnish hoki, you have to mention Mr. Peter LittleSihvo, who calls himself The Leading Analyst because he's the leading analyst of hoki and a pure hokiguy. The Leading Analyst has mentioned that he could also be a leading analyst in football if he just wanted to.

The Leading Analyst has at least four different personalities, so I think he might be some kind of schizophrenic. Two of his personalities appear in Sports Magazine. Usually one of those personalities asks questions from the other one and the other one answers. If he concentrates really hard, sometimes one of those personalities might write an article and remind us of The Leading Analyst's brother who almost ruined the career of Jack Diamond's younger brother Tom Diamond. In addition to this, The Leading also has one personality here in Overtime but it's just some kind of role play (maybe he get it wrong what SM-league means?)... He usually writes here about the Young Finland -program and if someone has different opinions The Leading Analyst just raises his punishing hand and tells that no one else understands the ethos of hoki. The fourth personality has nothing to do with hoki but some years ago The Eveningbullshit (part of the yellow press) told that The Leading had been driving scooter while his asses were on his shoulders.

If Juhani LittleOak invented the hoki, The Leading Analyst invented the modern hoki and wrote it down to his little red notebook called The Gamebook. The Gamebook is a huge part of Finnish hoki today, and every coach must have one. The result doesn't matter, it's all about can you play Our's Game (the one which is introduced in The Gamebook). If you play Our's Game you can fill your roster with 120-year-old Flowerhataunts and you still win. Some years ago we had a coach named Dog Sedden here in Finland. He coached Helsinki Comrades, The Jokes and even the Lions (the national team, not the chocolate bar) for one year. Although Dog's results were pretty good, The Leading took Dog into his teeth, because Dog's teams played hoki with wrong "conifereous woods" style. Dog also launched the "two dogs and a fox" tactics maybe because his name was Dog, don't know.

The other one who has been criticized by The Leading Analyst is the iron man of Finnish hoki. He's not Robert Downey Jr, but another famous actor Yabba The Hut, also known as Kale Weirdo. The problem with Kale was that The Leading Analyst didn't like Kale's way to give freejobs (nothing to do with blowjobs) to his sauna friends and backwashers, for example Jari "Tseneral Mänitser" Curry and Juti. Juti is the one who loves to barbecue and go forward even if he has an infection in his ankle (very popular disease in Finland). He can go anywhere because it's all the same.

There is so much to tell about all these guys but now I have to go to search my Karelian cap and watch my MM-ninetyfive video which I nevö, nevö foget.

 

[turo-urpo]

There haven't talked too much about Jyvaeskylae's team JYP. JYP is also known as tracktor team or Valta becouse it's tracktor sponsor. Every people here like tracktors very much and we usually drive shit ring with them when JYP win a match.
For long time JYP was just symphatic and harmless little club. Then Richard "the swimming cap" Dufva came here as headboss and everything chanced. Swimming cap is weird looking guy and father of robot hockey. Robot hockey is very boring but effective way to play hockey. Players turn to robots who paly exaktly same way game after game. They defence very thigtly and use their sticks as spinning rod to interference their opponents. That handeling is not allowed in hockey but swimming cap hypnotized referees before the game and they don't pay attension JYP's dirty hookings any more. Other team's fans called our team hookers and that doesn't feel good. If some one critized JYP's style of play here in Jatkoaika, there was half of Ryynitown to defend our team. We said that other team's fans are jelous to our beatiful and successful club.

Other reason to success was legendary VIP-line. Greatest player there was Jake "The King" little Immo. He was main architect last years world championsships too. With Micke "airwack" Granlund of cource. Unfortinately The King left to Soviet Union couple of years ago to get lots of dirty money to secure his family's life after ice hockey career. I'm not sure but I think his tracktor, wife and few kinds are still here in Ryynitown. Maybe they have own house too, thanks to Soviet Union money they doesenät have to live in tracktor's trailer any more. Maybe he will be back to our team someday.
One part of VIP line was Andy "cigarette" little Steam. He is also called little Andy. He is very skillful and crafty player. Unfortinately he had to leave JYP beacouse he smoked too much cigarettes and our team' nickname is no smoking team and smoking is not allowed. Nowadays he's playing his home town little Turggu.
Third member of VIP-line was Thomas Pihlman who still plays in JYP. He have had bad injuries and now he's very slow ice hoki player.

JYP has allways knowing for good goalies. On the other hand it's very easy to be goalie behind the robot team becouse robots are programmed to defence and goalies doesn't get many shots in a game. On championship season 2009 tracktor team's goalie was legendary showman Sinuhe Wall's tribe. Other teams' fans said he was one of the biggest clowns in the league. He was extraordinary robot who did unexpected things on ice and swimming cap didn't like Wall tribe's tricks everytime. Nowadays he's in Finnis parlament to spent finnish taxpayers money.

In year 2009 was a dream year for JYP. We won a regular season and championship. In playoffs first challenge was Turggune's ball club TPS. They was thight games and motions get heated sometimes. One game in Turggu our king little Immo tackled hard TPS's player and hometeam fans started to buuing to our Jakke. That was very rude thing to do. After the game our coach swimming cap started to cry and said you can buuing to Bob Hope, not our Jakke. In final JYP faced a half Finland's team Stoats from Oulu. Stoats are most successful team on 2000-number and robots should have any changes to win. Then Stoats had former JYP's coach Matt "buddha who made faces" Lowhouse as a coach. Robots were irresistable in finals and won 4 win to nothing. Then we had big wooly backish parties at town. Our town biggest hero hilljumper and talented singer Matt little Nykae was singing there. He's known as absolut absolutist but in the parties he broke his habits and said "tonight I will take one beer and the ground was shocked.

I would have lot more to tell but I have to go to watch my favorite palstic kendo team's match on many-doing-hall which is next to JYP's home arena Synergy arena.

 

[stairox]

Current President of Finlad, Tarja Halonen (she looks like Irish comedienne Conan O'Brian) made a clear statement a couple of weeks ago: Men's hockey should be like Women's hockey. That's why Marko hasn't retired, he is still playing in BallBears of Kuusamo and will propably return to SM-liiga after President Halonen has changed the hockey rules.

And this is why we call our president a coocoohatted aunt.

 

[Johannes]

Flowerhat-ladies like to make statements if there has been some pushing and shoving, even fighting, in a sm-liiga game. They say then that beer should not be sold in a hockey game. I don`t know how beer selling to audience makes players fight, but there must be some connection, because flowerhat-ladies say so. There are also children in the audience and they see first time in their lives that grown-up people drink beer and behave in an odd manner. Their own parents never drink alcohol outside an ice-hockey game, so ice-hockey brings bad things to underage childrens eyes and makes them connect going to a hockey game and drinking too much beer and that is a big social problem in Finland.

 

[Watson]

You forgot to mention that the name "Aessaet" is a plural of S-letters, so their real name is Pori SS. On this season they've gone very well on the other teams war areas so they've shot and gunned a lot of goals.

It is true that Pori is full of unemployed welders, but on the other they have a huge rock'n roll megaband 'Yö' (Night) supporting them. Do not mess 'Night' with 'Nightwish', this band plays real rock and is a well known stadium orchestra. All the radio channels in Finlays are playing their music 24/7 and they get a lot of royalties and this band is giving all the money to Pori SS, mostly because their leading singer Olli Lindholm is a huge fan of Pori SS. Olli is not relative to NHL veteran Juha Lind and his news-reporter father Arvi.

During last week Aces got a few million dollars offer from KHL for their superstar Tomas Zaporsky. This man has scored almost 30 goals this season. This is remarkable achievement, because Z is basically playing single handed: one of his two shoulders is badly wounded and they must keep ice around it every day and night! Fortunately Olli L decided to refuce this offer and as a compensation he gave his week allowance to SS. What a real fan!

 

[Timbit]

What is the most important thing in the Finnish ice-hockey scene? It is definitely Beer, the drink of Gods. Nowadays there is no ice-hockey without massive beer drinking and no massive beer drinking without ice-hockey, either watching, playing or at least talking.

That is an excellent point! Actually, the only part of the Finns not embracing the strong connection between ice hockey and beer is the Finnish legislation organization with all the endless committee meetings and memos and ancient attitudes. Whereas all the real ice hockey friends know that three or four pints of beer is a perfect amount of beer enjoyed during a game (feel free to have some more after the game, and oh boy, the Finns do feel) these fine people buried in their chambers have made it illegal to have beer at the hockey arena stand! If you want to have a beer you either have it during a break at arena bar or miss a part of the game.

So thanks to those flower hat aunties the Finns do not sip their beer and cheer for their favorite team. Instead they sip growl booze from a thin bottle called "pocket matthew" so that the staff members do not see and get really drunk. Then they start to fight with some random stranger who preferably is wearing the other team's jersey. Because of this some of the flower hat aunties want to ban beer from all the sports events in whole Finland. If you ask them it is better to have lots of angry people secretly drinking growl boose and fighting than to have lots of happy people sipping beer and having a good time with each other. Why? Nobody knows.

 

[Timbit]

But pussies are very much around in the hockey scene and one of the most famous pussies in finnish hockey is Marko Kiprusoff.

For some reason it is not possible to talk about pussy without mentioning Marko Kiprusoff at least once. Anyway, a word of warning to all the nice foreign people who might make a trip to Finland. When you go to a store and are paying the goods at the cashier you will probably hear a question that sounds like "lie teh thang koh pussy enh". The girl at the cashier is probably cute and all the Finnish chicks are crazy about foreigners but still this is not any kind of suggestion for a closer contact! She is just asking if you want her to put the goods you are buying into a small plastic bag. If she asks "do you wanna fuck" the question means exactly what it sounds like, you lucky bastard.

Also, at a grocery store you might see a colorful bag that has text "megapussi" written in it. It is not a product aimed for lonely men who need a relief. It is a potato chip bag. It is written only to the biggest chip bags being sold in Finland. The bags are a bit smaller than the medium sized bags in the US of A.

 

[Tshekki77]

If you want to have a beer you either have it during a break at arena bar or miss a part of the game.

I've been told that some people at beastcave solve this problem by buying ticket at the end, where HAAC attacks 1. & 3. period and spend 2. period at the bar. 18 + about 40 + 18 minutes to have qualitytime...

Edit. this, because some people dont want to see HAAC goalkeeper that close

 

[Klassikko]

The presipent Tarja of we's country of Finland is many times talked to be such a flower hat aunt, but so are many other naisrepresenters of kansa (he is a very famous singer in finnish music genre also). Every flower hat aunt wants so Finnish ice disc plays to be played: no man and man hands to touch other man's head. Also the flower hat aunts are wanting to ice disc players to not move so fast against other men's head with their bodys or kyynaerhead from the other side of the eating bowl, where they play ice disc.

So many a finnish ice disc windmill thinks that flower hat aunts are bad for finnish ice disc, which is a very traditional Kanadienne play. Many a man has been from Kanada here in finnish ice disc playing associations. We call them nikkareiksi, which is not a nigger, but a DIY-man. The DIY-man's sometime drink and drive with automobiles. Then they comes to play with me's favorit ice disc association, The Castle of Haeme's ball-gulp. One time there was a washing maskin some dident do he's work, and the player went to the north, were they make this wery famous finnish beer Lappari which is also Lapin Kulta and Lapland's Gold. He was not Kanadienne but from a foreigner's country also.

In finnish ice disc we have this thing called ottelupoeytaekirja, where many players try's to talks the feeds for he's, if the disc went into the paint in the eating bowl.

 

[Clocks]

Hi guys, just a quick update before I hit the sack. What a depressing evening. HAAC got raped by TBC, but luckily I made a profit in Longpull. I will now go to sleep holding my penis, and hope to dream of Markus Ketterer. Back in 1992 he was voted to be quter than Tiimu Salami. Good night (or morning, if you are reading this in USA).

 

[Stigu]

Hi guys, just a quick update before I hit the sack. What a depressing evening. HAAC got raped by TBC, but luckily I made a profit in Longpull.

Good morning Vietnam!

Me too have bad day. My lowely team (HIFK) loos against this hilly-billy twisted pervert team of TBC. Why they are perverted? First thing: they call themselves the Turku Ball Club, but they play disc. Why hell would anybody call himself football club, if play disc? Me not comprende. Secondly, in the city center of Turku, in the roundabout, it says a kyltti Eninttäs kymmene varvvi (maximum 10 rounds. OK maybe in english it not sound so great, but believe me, in finnish, it a great joke!). Also, the fanny couple Mathew and Tephew come from Turku, the asshole city of Finland. Many times I wonder if Jokes from Helsinki or TBC is fannier club. Now I think dat the TBC is fannier.