Jääkiekko in English

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Captain Slow

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
KR69, K11ng Perrin, Bratislavan mm-miehistö 2019
Oh yes. I really would like to call the Jyväskylä ice rink by the name "The arena, that smells like horseshit".

And some of the Jyväskylä fans are "guys who likes to bang the drums". And rest of people is hillbillies who comes in the game with Valtra's tractor(s), wearing Hankkija's orange cap and gameshirt.

Group drums (or drumgroup, what name you like to use) is.. Well, seven of ten fans say that that group is cancer of leagues support groups. I don't have anything else to say.
 

Waqu

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
JYP ja Dallas Stars
The finnish ice hockey people have invented a great idea to get more attendances to league.
The idea is very simple and got no holes, because the number of games will increase.

There is a secret plan to make "liiga" to work like this untill 2020.

Teams:
Blues
HIFK
HPK
Ilves
Kalpa
Lukko
Pelicans
Saipa
Sport
Tappara
TPS
Ässät
KooKoo
and new arrivals:
Jokipojat (Riverboys)
RoKi (Rovaniemi puck)
Keupa HT
TUTO (Comrades from Turku)
K-Vantaa (Puck-Vantaa)
Leki (Lempäälä Race)
Jukurit (Joghurts)
Hokki (Hockey)
Peliitat (Playing Idas)
Hermes
SapKo (Savonlinna ball club)
KooVee (Tampere derby brothers)
Ketterä (Agile)
Hunters
FPS (Forssa ball club)
Bewe Tuuski (Beweship sport Tuusula Puck)
JHT (Wankers from Kalajoki)

These teams will play 4 times against each other + 3 very interesting derby matches in month.

After the all games are player begans the playoffs:
20 teams will forward straight to playoffs, next eight teams will play best on seven series to decide their opponents, two worst teams plays best of three series to sedle whom will play against the first and second.
After the games are played starts the real playoffs.

Finals are played best of seven + best of seven series of every years NHL sequel game. If tied, then there will be a "MEGA FINAL" which is a coinflip with a great show.

The tickets will be from 30-150€ dependable on where you will watch game.
In playoffs every round the prices gets a 20% more per round.

This will make a whole lot more money than model of this day! Im waiting for this, more games more interest? All agree?

Ps. Oulu Weazels will be banned from this league. It is so disgusting team.

Edit. typo correction
 
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Suosikkijoukkue
4.11., 7.4. ja pyhä henki
Hello all! Good Christmas and lucky newyear! Is in China also newyear? Salmonsnake's year? Doge's year?

Not so good Christmas to Continuationtime.com because it say that Batlleaxe changes headtrainer Johnny Black Sausage Maker to Carey Stone. Maybe the supplier was Stoned because Stone said it's häränpaskaa in English. That before Advertisementtelevision said that Tappara negotiates with Jock Little High-Minded. It was also häränpaskaa, and the supplier was ultimate's probably High. Why has all suppliers used drugs and then häränpaskaa. When they say Stone, all go nuts. Peanuts, coconuts, I don't no what nuts. So they says in big country.

What is next. Sir Ben? Peter Little Sihvo? Jane Green Embankment? No Green Embankment, he's Raumanese. He go to Lock with Richard Swimminghat.

In Liig it is Christmaspause. Cornville's Ball is in peak. But can you imagine, Kaleva's Ball is second, even they were shit on last season with Bean Little Gallop. Situation in peak is very thick, Weazels, Club, Lock etc. So Liig has thick peak with two balls, very manly.

We see also what John Little Oak does. Maybe he train Battleaxe? Can supplier ask his reliable fountain? Wow dude, a magic fountain!
 

Barnes

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
Tasuno Tasalakki
The holidaybreak is in Puuhamaa. Nau Finnish Karjala hats will watch the Euro Höntsä Tour with Anthony To Sea, a very good kommentaattori. Is Battleax changeguing(a bit chinese word) its koutsi!? Why does the Carrotpants-fans and the konttori of the Battle axe hate Johnny Black Mervi-Matti Sausage? If he is a great asslicker, he maybe get a new job as a Kalevala Balls headcoach. Orr he will get a työpaikka at Kummolan sauna and start as a littelioncoach, win the gold and heat straight to the Ryssland!
 

Waqu

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
JYP ja Dallas Stars
It is funny to see who will change their coach and what kind of players will come into league.
For now, only Turku's ball club changed their trainer from Gary goldwatchwrist to Will Ferrell. They are making some comedy of their play in Turku, maybe to get visitors to their ice hall. The second couch must be an actor too, he looks like a very stereotypic hockey guy.

I don't think that the Vaasa urheilu will change the polish cubehead, because every body would be bad with urheilu.
Maybe the Pelikaanit will change Tom Whip because he is still a boy.
The Battleaxe's Black sausage maker might be replaced, but all the news had been ducks. Maybe there comes the King of the sun to save them.
 

Hande75

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
LiverpoolFC, Jokerit, suomalaiset NHL:ssä ja Lauri
Overtime net feather wrote, that Sunking saves Battle Axe, but writing it was a joke. Next day Overtime net feather wrote, that Garry Stone is Battle Axe's new head coach, but it's have been a duck until this day. Stone and Battle Axe are denied a contract, but Overtime did not believe them referring Ovetime's wells.

edit. I was quite low-speeded.
 

FASlapsi

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
SaiPa
Hello foreigner peoples, also from my halfside! Ecxept Russians, you can go kill your shelves becos your president flyes airoplanes everywhere and will soon kill us. And all those Isis peoples too, stop watching our ice disc you crazy mads! You too, Semir Ben-Amor, get out from here, you terrorist!

So, this years Liig has been poicceucsellinen. Why, you must ask? Kaivo, becos no one in the world gives a cacca about the whole Liig. Liig has been spoilersd, there is no longer Batmans Enemies who everybodies always liked to win, now is instead Vaasa Urheilu, who everybodies always win but it is not so nice, its like beating up Timo T.A. Mikkonen or Jeesus Kristus, no challenge, becos other one is blind wammanen and other always turns his other cheek when hitted in face. Not that gay rapper cheek, but that what is in everyboides face next to nose, both sides.

Also the mallets of the Liig have continued being so drunk and drugged in every game that nobody knows anymore what can be doned in disc rink and what not. And people do not go to ice halls to see ice disc, becos everything is so boring and last year there was much ice disc all the time and there was olympics and Teemu Backnne and Littlelions and Rasmus Little Ristolai and Teuvo Little Sharpi wonned gold medal even though Caarle Gustaa said mallets "Sweden gets gold" and Saimaas Ball was bestest team everywhere and Olli "Chef" Little River and others played worldchampionship and wonned silver becous Putin said mallets "Russia gets gold" and bevos Putin is scarier mad than that old koala looking homo-weirdo who drives hard and gives birth to pretty princessas. Anyroads, so much happeneded last year that now nothing is intredasting, no one cares about Liig and nobodu goes see games.

So, nobody knows what has happened in Liig. Maybe some games have played, maybe not. Saimaas Ball is perhaps firstest, or lastest, or something between. I don't know. I don't care. Go away now!
 

Waqu

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
JYP ja Dallas Stars
I tough this chain a bit and got little concert about the facts, that the fans from foreign lands dont know the names of our players.
So I did a little list to get familiar with some players, I might need help with some names.

Point market:
1. Erkki Koiranen 8+24=32
2. Jessie Little Island 11+19=30
3. Jane Little In Sheat 8+22=30
4. William Wax Bay 5+25=30
5. Raimo Lässy 9+19=28
6. Thomas ? 6+22=28
7. Taavi Pyörivä 13+12=25
8. Aaro Laaksonen 12+12=24
9. Eric Social Media Mountain 10+14=24
10. Sakari Seremoniamestari Renkaaseen 9+15=24

Also some interesting players: Lasse Little Cock hasn't been so good in this season, altough he has been very hazardous always, but now he had not make so many points.
Jon Windmill Waterfall hasnt been se good in the net but Little Money Justin has been great between pipes altough he is old. Butterfly Sam has also showed some promise in Kalpa.

But how you spell in english Miihkali Teppo? I dont know even in finnish what is Miihkali. Or Siiiiim Liivik? Is it only Wet-Simeon? Also Kevin Lankinen, Juuse Saros, Ville Husso and the Tarkki Brothers are hard to nounce professionaly in english.

Well maybe I have carried my own cane into heap. Now I hail you all a sincerely adequate crimbo and very gay new year!
 
Suosikkijoukkue
4.11., 7.4. ja pyhä henki
But how you spell in english Miihkali Teppo? I dont know even in finnish what is Miihkali. Or Siiiiim Liivik? Is it only Wet-Simeon? Also Kevin Lankinen, Juuse Saros, Ville Husso and the Tarkki Brothers are hard to nounce professionaly in english.

They is Mihcael Winnipeg, Jim Vestk, Keijo Little Umlautless Five Hole, Johnnie Ssteppes, Willie the Hustler and the T'Ark brothers.

T'Ark is just a lovename. They is T'Archaeon officially.
 

Sekera

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
Tappara, prosessit ja yrittäminen
There was a guestion in the chain "guestions for nazis part two" that this chains name is shit. Now it is no shit becaus me, the chain opener-man but no nazi, maked little changing. You all humans and monkeys be wellcome to here to speak about ice disk! So not penalties anymore for speaking off-topic!

Oh yes, the happy ending: Laellaellaeae nazis, me was faster!
 

Hande75

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
LiverpoolFC, Jokerit, suomalaiset NHL:ssä ja Lauri
There's landmatch in running between Lions and Backhairs. Lions lead 1 - 0 by lucky bounce. All nation's Seabeach is on the voice. Backhairs moderated a game 1-1 just. Again Backhairs paints and score is 1-2. Lions is in pee.
 
I wanted to say in English tongue that Saku (yes that Estonian beer) Birch hung his skates on a nail last summer and he had some nice cereMoney in Montreal pair days ago. Viewers were crying, Estonian beer was also crying. Maybe they knew they would lose to what was that bird from Anaheim. Estonian beer is cheap but Birch made lots of Money in his hoki-trail.

Other thing i wanted to say is.. We need more paint makers in NHL. You know, like what the peep. This year Finnish paint-stock-exchange winner may paint only 20 paints. Also what if advocate like Sami (not Samantha) Little-What-A wins the stock-exchange? I will cry then!. What should Finns do to become better paint makers? Maybe we must hire some good painter. Yes I am talking to you Salvador Dali!

Positive thing is Finnish paint-guardian called Slope. Slope is very long man and he has very fast swimfin in his hand. He is the opposite of vacuum cleaners. Other positive thing is J-stud Le(h)-blade (Maybe some French warman?). He is a good middle-attacker but one finnish explainer called Andy Hilly let some frogs out of his mouth and said Le(h)-Blade would have 100 dots after 2014-2015 epoch. Now I must eat a Lion chocolate bar for Finnish lions, See you all alligators!

editttting. I made a pig error I talked about J-studs relative Blad-O wow. Stupid me!
 
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Hande75

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
LiverpoolFC, Jokerit, suomalaiset NHL:ssä ja Lauri
Pair other quit news from this week. Jarggo Diamond and Andy-John Cape stopped their icedisc careers. Both were pregnant powers of Lions in chapter of 2000s.
 

Ostoskassi

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
Suomen maajoukkueet, Boston Bruins, suomalaiset
Thanks to all moderators who changed this chain name to neutral mode. Since The Liig is so boring, now we kan talk other things here involving hockey.

So first i would like to think back this year. As we all know year of 2014 is coming to end very soon, so i think that it would be nice to sum the year in one text. The year started wonderfully for Finland, because in Loppiday Finland won gold in under 20 years old players championship. Finland won Sweden in the final. Sweden is known for gay people, 'cause every man in Sweden are gay. Especially Mats Sundin, who was one of the firstest julkihomo's. Finnish people were really nice to Sundin and support him a lot with his sexuality.

Then came the olympics. Finland won bronze medal there, and finnish tv-reporter called Maybej Kunnas tried to make finnish players cry. But he failed the mission so he lied to Selanne that everybody cried. But it's not Maybej's fault. Maybej is a Finland swedish so he is a half homo sexual. Maybej also said one of the most legendary thing wich was "Teemu hill cry".

Sweden won silver medal, but after the tournament people found out that Drugström has cheated with doping. You would thought that his name would gave that away.... But anyway Drugström used doping and that started a big hulapaloo. People wanted Drugström's balls on the line. In the end Drugström got his medal and because of that people gave big sheep ass to IIHF and even to the olympics it's self. Finnish tv-clown called Juhani Little-Oak-Tree was shocked by this päätös.

Then came the M & M championship, in White-Russia. White-russian fans were so happy that M & M championship were holded there. Russia wanted to kostaa to Finland because Finland was evil to them in Sotshi. And what would be better place to do that than Russian sisarcountry. Let's keep it short. The best players for team Russia were those who didn't even needed a bat to play the game. They really were the MVP's for team Russia. Olli Little-River was sad that Finland didn't win, and that is kind of weird. You would think that he would be in his comfort-zone when losing. We also saw that Petri Bear is not wise man, because he doesn't know much.

Have a merry Juhannus everybody, and i wish all the best for the year thythousandandfifteen.
 

Kulttimörkö

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
JYP ja maajoukkueet
Worse news for COB. Michael Hillshead has hurted his wrist and it will need scissoring. He must stay away off eyes for many, many weaks. This will be a boo boo for COB as Hillshead is one of wealthiest reverses of COB. Not a very, very good xmas for COB. Hey, xmas male goat, give COB some good xmas gifts two!
 

Captain Slow

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
KR69, K11ng Perrin, Bratislavan mm-miehistö 2019
Most of COB (i hope that that lyhenne is same what i think) fans (åår suppoters, its your turn to decide what name you use) thinked before this season that Marco The Bald(inen) is a scheisse coach, even that fivedivaren valmentaja from Kummeli Stories is better to make some success. And now the COB goes top three in teh lüga. Even me, the worst amateur long-way-distance spectator thinked that "okay, this season is full of pettymyksiä".

Lets see how the springseason goes. Maybe the season goes so fucking well that hillbillies pick up the BOY/something bowl who is called KANADA!! by Tammerfors humour group, Pile of Stones, bad nickname called Kummeli.

I have too much blood in my alcohol circulation
 

Vanhapuuma

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
JYPinkylä, Suomen maajoukkueet, IF Gnistan
The finnish ice hockey people have invented a great idea to get more attendances to league.
The idea is very simple and got no holes, because the number of games will increase.

There is a secret plan to make "liiga" to work like this untill 2020.

Teams:
Blues
HIFK
HPK
Ilves
Kalpa
Lukko
Pelicans
Saipa
Sport
Tappara
TPS
Ässät
KooKoo
and new arrivals:
Jokipojat (Riverboys)
RoKi (Rovaniemi puck)
Keupa HT
TUTO (Comrades from Turku)
K-Vantaa (Puck-Vantaa)
Leki (Lempäälä Race)
Jukurit (Joghurts)
Hokki (Hockey)
Peliitat (Playing Idas)
Hermes
SapKo (Savonlinna ball club)
KooVee (Tampere derby brothers)
Ketterä (Agile)
Hunters
FPS (Forssa ball club)
Bewe Tuuski (Beweship sport Tuusula Puck)
JHT (Wankers from Kalajoki)

Sorry for the long quote but is Grainsvillage's Ball Hockey Team No Smoking Team going to play in some other league than S/M-lüga? And do you seriously as fuck think that Grainsvillage's Ball Hockey Team No Smoking Team-Ἀκαδήμεια will not be around anymore, or will it resurrect itself as Salmon-Puck once more?
 

Waqu

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
JYP ja Dallas Stars
Sorry for the long quote but is Grainsvillage's Ball Hockey Team No Smoking Team going to play in some other league than S/M-lüga? And do you seriously as fuck think that Grainsvillage's Ball Hockey Team No Smoking Team-Ἀκαδήμεια will not be around anymore, or will it resurrect itself as Salmon-Puck once more?
Well, I want to believe that COB HC will then play in some great european megaleague, not in the any Russian league. Maybe then the Russia wont exist anymore.
I dont believe, that Jyväskylä's In The Disco will play in that league, but you never know.

I think that in 2020's Jabba the Hutt's jug will be the prize in League. Today's Chickenda bowl will be some minor trophy.
 
Suosikkijoukkue
4.11., 7.4. ja pyhä henki
Han Dick's underaged Little Lions aka A20-icediscsoilteam playing goodly, but Little Lions doesn't do paints. Han's own chewbacca, Jefferson Post-julake only pulls to posts and upbar. Only Mickey Little Beach and Arthur Little Lehko are done paints. Johnnie Ssteppes no is so good as in last year's races, but Willie the Hustler was frozen and calm in play USA counter. I hope that Dick puts Hustler in paint in this races. Swampmy can still beat this races, if they win Little Hitlers and its after Little Sven-Joergens. Me only don't like that Dick makes Little Lions hard, pineforesticedisc play. Swampmy's midgets no can win UCA's toothless canucks that way.

Manipulation: Husso in paint in Dzöömäni counter. http://www.jatkoaika.com/Uutiset/hu...edium=nosto&utm_campaign=keskustelu_ros_nosto

Link to Continuation Time-netleaf!!!!!!1!
 
Suosikkijoukkue
4.11., 7.4. ja pyhä henki
Do your anuces slippery, Little Hitlers, because Little Lions are in come hard. Han Dick is as a healthy, gamers is as healthy, only thing that about not can be sure is sportscasterplace, on here no is always as a healthy. Now yelling! Lovelya Little Lions lovelya! Lovelya Little Lions lovelya, this is lovelyaa, yee yee yee. Even makes illä, no harm-aa! Lovelya Little Lions lovelyaa! There is place, why not fire? Hello Ray, Hello Ray, and there is! Now Yelling...
 

Johannes

Jäsen
Suosikkijoukkue
HIFK, jääkiekko.
Finland one, one, one, one and two. No, these are not Eurovision song-contest points for "reggae ok", but I started to think how many paints Little Lions have scored. Not many and I am a bit worried about Mr Dicks health for this under-achieving Little Lions offensive weakness-abilities and espeicially power-plays zero after sixteen attempts in the tournament. In goalies we trust and perhaps this is now for the best that we meet again our funny opponents Swedish gladstone ganders or johnny the goose. We`ll meet again Sweden and Little Lions will win in the best of after eight game.
 
Suosikkijoukkue
4.11., 7.4. ja pyhä henki
My mind Dick was too hard for Little Lions. He should breath more and yelling less when standing Little Lions behind.
 
Suosikkijoukkue
4.11., 7.4. ja pyhä henki
Time on little-everyday-i Liig-overview. Just on this while, Liig's dominatingest gamer is Jarred Little Malkin. He playing like Eugene Big Malkin in Warickkotcckäupuncki Pingweenid. Little Malkin took HAAC's defenders and paintguard to cebabkiosk before christmaspause. He did very fine paint Pelickäänit counter on overpower. He also devastated Sailand's Ball and Johnny Little Mark by perverting defenders and feeding to Taawi Dzormä'sxson which feeded to Anthony Eric's Hillbilly which did paint. Little Malkin comes to make his paint and dotrecord. On next season, Little Malkin comes beat Liig's Dot Wall Street.

Cans you believe this also? Moe Little Lehko saying just that Battleaxe comes to exist on trunkseries's fourd situation. He saying KalBa is fifst, so Battleaxe comes to play KalBa in droppinggames. KalBa's onespaintguard Eric Little Shieldsi is offended endseason's time's. Add to it that KalBa is always shit in droppingseason, and Battleaxe goes to middleperiod's, even though some of their fans seem to be on their period all the time. Maybe no firing Johnny Black Sausage Maker then. Moe Little Lehko knows bestly.
 
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