Jääkiekko in English

[Hande75]

Finland's icediscfederation's speech's mastermind, Jabba the Hut's secret bro and father of Kimilsun, Our Great Leader, father of Kullervo in the Kalevala Cummola has decided to separate his job in year 2015 after only couple days after his erection, hups election. New speech's mastermind is perhaps his loyal backwasher Yohe Wall'infamily. But it's not in church announced yet.

 

[Waqu]

The junior delicates mushroom cup was a flop for team Finland.
Mr. Dick said all kind of jibberish about the material and so on, other causes to lose.
Well, I think when they get 0 over strenght goals there is also couch did some wrong.
Mr. Dick has said to his succees "Hey, six delicates mushrooms hey", but they were long time a go, in a different environmnet.

It was annoying when Mr. Dick only shaked his head in yesterdays game, when the game was not that bad. I must say that Dicks time in Junior hockey is ended.

 

[Hande75]

I can't see game of Batman's enemies, so I have good time write about yesterday's biggest icedisck litle new.

As netleaf of Prolongation time told us in english that "Jukka Jalonen named new head coach of Finland's world junior hockey team". I must repair few mistakes and append pair things to article, if you don't mind, ring finger supplier.

New head coach of Young Lions as we known team folksy is Jock Little Noble. Little Noble starts his job in jewel moon and Icedisc's Earth Juniors Master Games will be played from on XXXmas day as we know it day.

Former head coach Hans Dick took and left the kitchen, because it was too heat for Dick. Dick was very angry old man and fucked off. I trust in my ring finger fountain and Dick said

- I don't care anymore, I don't arse. I prefer drink my bear and raise my beard.

Dictator of Finnish Icedisk Alliance and Jock Little Noble were both very happy.

Otherwise the little new was correct.

 

[ernestipotsi]

Recently HAAC has been HWPC (Homos Without Physical Condition) and it has lost 5 games in a pipe. Today HAAC will play against Pippelicans which is also very bad team. HAAC has some players in Saigon. Matt Kupparinen has syphilis but he is about to find all the moomins from the valley. Team captain Söde is too cute to play rough. HAAC überstrenght needs Södes passes and Aufucking hard slap shots to the pleksis.

In general, the League sucks. Not one team can drop from the Goldpigclub. The League's jumbofight is interesting. Vaasas eagleshirts and Pelicans from the Bay are still better than Turggusis Ball Club where its head coach Livingmo hates all mickeymouses. TBC's downhill started when they gave a show to Mr. Maybe Little Blowjob. Livingmo is probably the worst ice disc coach in the League since Peter Little Sihvo or Heicci Lime.

 

[aceman81]

On monday a huge asteroid flew by planet, no it wasn't Elomo's fire, but ouwer miljoona kilometriä so it was more loser than Turku's BallKamrades 2 has been to a victory. Many Ballkamrades 2 players wanted to travel with asteroit but Bob didn't say heil.

Ballkamrades 2 has now missed 10 matcher last 10. Some rumor Hairy "Sex champion" Johnson would cum back.

 

[Barnes]

There has been many discussion about Honda Cup or World Cup ass the NHL calls it. I really think that its a great idea. And I also hope there Wont be a Tiimi Finland, i want to see a Honda CR-V KarjalaMTVTOTALMERTARANTASUOMIPERKELE-gang. The logo of the paitas would be a Honda-logo in "home match" and Karjala-logo in "away match" The maalisarvi is Tami' s Boom boom boom.

Sweden could be IKEASvenskaspelFoppa6-5, I'd love to see a PepsiAmericanairlines, Russia is Our democratic friend who drives Ladas, and Canada is MolsonbeerBlackberryRedBullMapleteam.

 

[Hande75]

Team Czech would be etc. Team Gambrinus, Staropramen, Krusovice, Radegast, Velkopopovicky or Team Kozel. Because Czech is very known for beer culture. There's very many sorts of beer and really many breweries. In addition to the breweries in more than twenty restaurant microbrewery where you can actually follow the fucking beer.

 

[Ikävänkantaja]

In Finland Honda Cup is not traditionally played in ice disc troughs but in the city areas, for a pre-mark in Bay, Drying Barn Hill City and Lake's Head.

The basic rule of Honda Cup is that you must buy a Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla or any given model of the BMW with fur dices and subwoofers and drive endlessly around two blocks and the clock and play absolutely shitty "music" such as Posci, Batman's Helper, Night, Blue Tahallinen tuhotyö, Kuolluthiir1 or Regional State Administrative Agencycii from Sweden. And that's it.

"Funny? Wise? Logical?" You may ask. NO, NO, AND ONE MORE TIME NO, but it obviously makes as much sense as the American version of the Honda Cup which is timepaintinged to be played in 2016.

 

[ernestipotsi]

Today is the last day of transportation window in The League. Stouts already got Pepsi Maxwell and Kaspar the Ghost.

HAAC and Tom of Finland is silent. We don't want to win the Kanada-bowl. We should not keep the sausages cold.
However, I still believe that mr. Newbondage will surprise our fans. Tomorrow we'll see if he did or not.

 

[Waqu]

In league, The Michael Living Mo (Él Mólò in spanish) has made unbreakable record in his short pest as a coach of Turku's Ball Club.
TBC was announced to be a canditate to Canada bowl before season, they had pretty big names there. Maybe little blow job was kicked out of the club and Living Mo came to save them.
Well with Living Mo, the lost almost every game, mr. 7 centimeters said something stupid on greenery conferences and was arrogant to every body. This may be ok with Hans Dick, because he won six delicates mushrooms, but Living Mo has done nothing as couch.
Well on weekend Living Mo drinked a lot, was in the jail with his glorious TBC suit and was kicked out.
I think his career is not going to be very succesful. Altough his sidekick mr Mullet head has never said anything stupid, so im little surprised that he didint get to couch pest. Jared Little rai Little got his pest.

They are maybe making a brand with TBC to get all the bar fighters to the team.
And why im writing about TBC? Well it might be a mental therapy, because Cornvilles ball has major problems with it defence and mr. egghead Little Flow has done nothing to this 1,5 years old problem.

 

[Virveliä kainaloon]

Is Mark "Retaliator" Your Flea Poic Paeaeltae still TBC's little helper couch? He wasn't fisting in Little Hannikas bar with Living Mo, no he was? Neither was Peter Moor Cock, who should stop ice disc playing, because he be too old.

 

[Barnes]

Jokers are plaing veri good in the PHL, Putin Hockey League. Their koutsi, Eric Western has done great effort with Jokers and now thei are Soviet Union -cup-contenders. Their nightstar, Steve King of Jews made of date the paint record in PHL! But i'm absolut worried about Petri Bear, although he don't play in Jokers. I hope that Mr. Bear returns to Kummola' s Pussycats as a Skoda Cup-player, but it looks bad for Teddybear, he has bean the most worst player of those who played in AHL this season, and his season in PHL isn' t very good.

 

[Virveliä kainaloon]

Swamplands icediscleague is on towards its end. Overmatches are begin today Stoats' and Battle Axe's between. Most large question is it, that is able to Lasse Little Cock play? His hand is very much hurt, because Jani Little Like Tuppura breaked it in betweenshipments. Luke Lifeisporno don't play, because Larry Berryhill dosent like his playing, alltought Berryhill speaked that their is very tyred discers.

 

[Wiljami]

Swamplands icediscleague is on towards its end. Overmatches are begin today Stoats' and Battle Axe's between. Most large question is it, that is able to Lasse Little Cock play? His hand is very much hurt, because Jani Little Like Tuppura breaked it in betweenshipments. Luke Lifeisporno don't play, because Larry Berryhill dosent like his playing, alltought Berryhill speaked that their is very tyred discers.

I has read is the zebras the most biggest question mark in will they let the boys play or is maybe with flower hat? Is not easy because is good when let the boys play, but is no good when all has spinning rod in armpit and handle disk.

 

[Waqu]

Yeah, Oulu Weazels has won teh legue.
There was many times when lucky bounce saved them, but a northern shamans have cured them to have luck with them.
After winning, the players drinked milk together and were happy. They got great first chain in attack: Julian Oulu, Jonathan Little Oak's moth and Jonathan Little handicapped. Those mothers sons have played many seasons together and did it good.
Battle axe fought well in finals, but didnt win. End of story, it is always kind a anticlimax when weazels win.

 

[Barnes]

Kaleva Ball has got a new player, Patrick Davis from America! He played in thö Weazels last season butt he was not good there so we in Savo are very suspicious. I also heard that Jukka "Bull" Hentunen will train juniors with Sam Captain great!

Meanwhile in Turku TBC captured Tom Rock and Henrik Tall Indoors. You know, Tom Rock is thö man who painted in 2003 IIHF Skoda Championships on half-semifinal Finland vs Sweden(which Finland eventually lost...) and commentator Anthony To Sea yielded in Finska " Tomppa vetää nollakulmasta kiekon häkkiin!!". Tall Indoors played many seasons in NHL lastly in Buhvalo LeSabre.

 

[Virveliä kainaloon]

I also heard that Jukka "Bull" Hentunen will train juniors.

Is he relatea to The very great Bull? Somebody askings how does the Bull looks when he shit or masterbatings, I don't know, but I am of curious?

 

[Snagari]

Tomorrow in the Rock village arena at the guys swamp in Rauma there is being held the annual Lacetournament that starts the hockey season in Finland.

At 10.15 the unemployed Poris spades will face against the tapering eared Locks of Rauma. Everybody will be hoping for a fight to break off, but the coach of Locks, Risto "runway" Dufva forbids his players to drop the gloves which makes the unemployed Spades fans angry. Most of the attendance will be drunk and happy no matter what happens. When they get hungry they will eat the delicious sausage that is called the Rock villages fluteshearty sausage.

 

[kahden suunnan sentteri]

I just leave here this international cosmopolitan Hannes Hyvönen's English blog...
This topic's stuff.

30 | juli | 2015 | Hannes Hyvönen

 

[Waqu]

I think that Hank Little Goodies has just gratuated from life's hard school to have ability to do this stuff today.

 

[Wiljami]

I think is greit that is very cosmopolit (not Glen) even is Hannes "the real Big-H" in blogosfeer even is hundredcommune years old. He also is in the castles festivals top guest.

...what?

 

[Waqu]

Now happens in Swamplands national team.
Gary "nose" Littel Noble will end couching after this season.
He will be replaced by Larry Berryhill, Berryhill has created a great tactic to winning the finnis Liig. He always cries about the refrees and goes bath with Jabba The Hut and the refree's guarantees the win.

Let's hope, that Jabba has enough balls or jaws in international level to make refrees to act by Berryhill.

 

[FASlapsi]

Hello hello, I don't knowed why I say hello, I say hello!

Soon is starting new season in Finnish ice disc Liig, like you everybodies must know alredy. But didn't you knowed, that now is Continue-Time also starting write news's in Englands tongue? It is truth, there is one question asking and answering artiggel where somebody asks questions and some Tursk-country paint keeper from HAAC's zunior team answers. And is all in England tongue. Three time hurraa shouts for some reason! Hurraa! Hurraa!

..oh, one more time, Hurraa!

Hurraa!

Oops, one Hurraa was too many. Well, anyways, like also is said here, also one former ice disc player, nowadays fitness-hall steroid eater who wants to be like famous Finlandish retard Härcä Mentula, Hannes Gooding, is writing plog in England toung. Hannes is very fluent England speaker, and gives intredasting storyes, like "I want to tell you what really happen 2011 in HIFK (Finland) because there is some crazy stories that i have fight with my team mates, coaches and that i have been acting stupid so team had to fire me." I don't' not want to sboiler, but I do anyway, what hapned was Hannes splitted from hims wife, and that is reason why he goed home from HAAC and let team win whole shit. Very interedasting storyes, go read them you foreign pascapääs!

Also one other intredasting thing is that Jarkko Diamond writted a book, called God Acting. It is becos Jarkko was very good of acting like he losted hes hiding glass or kyykied in front Melart, and becos Jarkko is God. In book, Jarkko exampleyes explains that when HAAC wonned mesdaruus some thousand years ago, the boy was brokened becos Frank the Dinosaur cummed in sauna, looked that Boy was bottom of pool, and sayed "This not good". Then worlds baddest paint keeper Sakke "Uniikki's father" Lindström taked Boy from pool, but dropped it to saunas caacels, and then Jere "Druglord" Karabay throwed Boys pieces in giuas. After that, perhaps Olli "Pumpkinhead" Little River made some sausages with Boy on top giuas, maibe not, Jarkko didn't not tell. No information was given who was Suzki, and who nussied her.

But that is enogh of shitty stories, now to this years' ice disc Liig. There is new team in Liig, famous racist movement KKK has own team now. Most Nostradamus's say KKK will be bottom of Liig, even badder than other Mestis group Vaasa's's Urheil. Also Pori's S-letters are said to be shitty, Vaasa people want to think them shittyer than themselves. All other people agree that both Vaasa and Pori are shit, no matter what is badder than other, they are shit anyway. Maybe also is KKK.

Oulus Stoats will again win everything, but for second place is mysteer. Strange is, that Nostradamuses say Saimaas Ball is secondest or thirdest bestest team in Liig. This has never happened befoor. Saimaas Ball winned almost all practice games, and things look good with team. Normally it means everything will go to shit, so maybe Saimaas Ball will be in bottom with Urheil and S-letters, or maybe they go to final to get silver. Other good teams according Nostras are HAAC, Lock, TBC and Grainville Tractors and Axe. Rest teams are something between good and shit.

Thats it! So looks life in ice disc Liig before start of season! Stay turned! And go read plok of Hannes!

 

[Barnes]

As the child from Lappeenranta, @FASlapsi , told us, the 1üga is beginning. I'm very excisted to see how Kaleva Ball manages this season with its narrow runko. I hope that Eero Shield wónt fail in playoffs if Fishcocks go there. Why do i hope that från Shield? Well, we remember his time in Tsadi.

We heard that Larry Berryhill will replace Kari Noble as the headcoach of Lions. I'm very satisfied of Kal€rvos solution. Berryhill was the best option. Jukka Noble will coach Jesters, Western has been seen, Arastream..., and the only coach who has NHL-experince, Alpo "Dogfood" Suhonen has stopped coaching.

Btw, Teemu Selanne has been a controversial ex-player because his Twitter-account, or should i say Alex Vowmountain's Twitteri...

 

[Street Clinton]

Start season. Yesterdai first battles with four teen teams. Comrades in overtime.com remember to keep foreigners informed in Liiga. Kalevis balls lost, ofcourse. Jesse Monkey'nens scored for Balls. But NutiDanger got his stcik in between shot from overtime and scorers winner. Overtime was new system, tree vs. tree.

This was short news flash to keep foreingn english speakers alive about Liiga.