Sen verran vielä ennen hokia, että vaikkakin oli odotettua että puolustuksesta tulevat parhaat prospectit, niin aika vahvasti asettuvat pickit pallon toiselle puolelle lukuunottamatta Jakea, Ryania ja Mc-fucking-Faddenia (ei mitään pelaajaa, vaan Davisia vastaan). Toki tiedossa oli ettei siellä Calvin Johnsoneita ym. ole saatavilla.
FO:n Mock Draftista sen verran että paitsi tietävät mitä tekevät, tekevät sen hauskasti. Tässä odotus Lionsin puolesta, vaikkei osunutkaan (Mock tehty kylmästi tarpeiden, ei odotusten mukaan, tässä selitys: We went two rounds this time, no trades. We generally went more for Team Needs than Best Player Available, though there were exceptions.):
1-15-15 Detroit Lions — Leodis McKelvin, CB, Troy
My conversation with Matt Millen:
B: “Wow Matt, this is a dream scenario for us. We had one of the worst secondaries in football last year and the top two cornerbacks are still on the board!”
M: [playing with G.I. Joe’s] “No, Rusty. _I’m_ the manliest man in our squadron!”
B: “Um, Matt, it’s our turn to pick.”
M: “What?” [glances back at G.I. Joes and makes squashing noises]
B: “Matt, it’s our turn to pick in the NFL Draft.”
M: “Oh! OK! We pick Darren McFadden.” [points to picture of Darren McFadden on the cover of The Sporting News] “Our scouts said he’s the best player out there.” [goes back to G.I. Joes] “Just like our scouts saw Charlie hanging out in the ditches over by the popcorn machine!”
B: [grabs Matt’s arm and sits him back down] “Matt, we can’t pick Darren McFadden. We won too many games to be able to pick whoever we want. He’s already been selected by the Jets.”
M: “We’ll send fighter je-”
B: [looks at Matt sternly]
M: “…OK. Let’s trade Roy Williams for Darren McDonald’s.”
B: “Matt, it’s McFadden, and we can’t trade Roy Williams for McFadden. He’s our best player and, besides, the Jets don’t want to deal McFadden.”
M: [is across the room shoving G.I. Joe’s into the microwave, screaming] “Go! Go! Go Rusty, go!”
B: “NOT AGAIN MATT!” [unplugs microwave] “Last time you did that, this place smelled like rubber for weeks.”
M: [obliviously shoves army men into microwave and hits “go” button and jumps around gleefully yelling] “CHAR-LIE! CHAR-LIE!”
B: [checks clock - three minutes]
M: “Can we take Darren Whopper now?”
B: [sighs] “Oh, you want a whopper?!”
M: “Whopper with royale!”
B: “We shouldn’t have shown you Pulp Fiction. You were too young.”
M: “Mother****** mother****** Jesus!”
B: “OK Matt. How about this. I do a little business here and then we’ll go to Burger Ki-”
M: “NO McFADDEN’S! McFADDEN’S McFADDEN’S McFADDEN’S!”
B: [can’t believe he’s going to have to go to McDonald’s, take burgers out of their wrappers, go to Burger King, take burgers out of their wrappers, and stick the Burger King burgers in the McDonald’s wrappers again] “OK, fine. McFadden’s it is. You just keep sticking G.I. Joes in the microwave.”
M: “They’re the Two Hundred and Seventy-Fourteenth Fighter Squadron!”
B: “OK, Matt. Gimme a second here.”
I’ll take McKelvin because his name sounds like McDonald’s, and that will make Matt happy. Also, although the Lions signed Brian Kelly and traded for Leigh Bodden, Kelly’s 32 and Bodden has alternately been healthy and mediocre the last two years.
– Bill Barnwell