Jääkiekko in English

[Wiljami]

Today starts Champtis and I'm quite into it. I will watch game GoGo - Hokki from Champtis-TV what probably don't work. I don't know what's the issue with that. Can someone tell me something about it?

The champtis issue is, that the bestest team is the Stubborns of Mik-weather and thus the GoGo vs. hockey wont show properly on Champtis-TV.

You might want to send a telefax to Champtis-TV headhut and say you are The Sir Emperor and they will believe you if you promise to train them.

edit. Champtis-TV server is probably down, because there is a game in Mik-weather Kalevasfabric ice disc hall with Stubborns agains Academy of Grainvillages Ball Company (GbcA).

 

[Apmp-]

I know this is not SM-Liiga but I don't know where else I can write this in english.

Today starts Champtis and I'm quite into it. I will watch game GoGo - Hokki from Champtis-TV what probably don't work. I don't know what's the issue with that. Can someone tell me something about it?

I don't know about it's issues but I know other thing. TUFR (Turku's Friends) has this crazy-ass-bitch-motherfucker selostaja in Champtis-TV. He is always talking about sheep's cock and other interesting things. Today is a game in Cupttaa's Juice-Arena. TUFR - Gameetat. I'll be there.

 

[JHag]

I know this is not SM-Liiga but I don't know where else I can write this in english.

Maybe Champtis deserves it's own english chain? After all, Champtis is almost SM-Liiga and The Sunking coaches in Champtis. He is also Lion number 79 and Underwritten and all his players are Brothers. Wow - there must be only black people playing in Sunking's team. That's why there are a lot of women in the audience. They dream of black hoze.

 

[Uleåborgir]

I don't know about it's issues but I know other thing. TUFR (Turku's Friends) has this crazy-ass-bitch-motherfucker selostaja in Champtis-TV. He is always talking about sheep's cock and other interesting things. Today is a game in Cupttaa's Juice-Arena. TUFR - Gameetat. I'll be there.

Is this the friend that makes clear with words like "diarrhoea wrist"? He's so funny.

I want to write something about Oulu's Stoatses' sickness house. Well, there is now four players that suffer from brain vibration's symptoms. They have headpains. Stoatses' sickness house is always full. Yesterday tried Bobcats' Ercci Borderhill tackle Stoatses' Yesnas (Stoatses have four Yesnases in team) Komulainen to sickness house. Stoatses winned the match five-three and Ercci Borderhill was commanded into shower after he opened his head to the bringers (tuomarit in Finland's tongue). This was after he had suffered a big ten from behaving earlier in the match. Ercci Borderhill is a former S-Poo player, so is Stoatses' Doni "Fighter" Little Kaehko.

 

[FASlapsi]

Hello hello what is hearing? When you ask then everything is OK, but what does it matter, when you dont know how I am feeling?

Sorry if I secoitti you, those are words from mostest famulous Finnish rock orchester, HelpManure. They also sing about spankings and worms and bad peoples and all such things as everybody else too. Their singer is Toni Little Kurrent, and also there is Beard-Sam and Simon Sandgoat.

Ok, thats enough off of-topic, now lets get back to unemployment!

This chain had falled down because for some reason peoples in this ContinueTime message plank have been discussing about egghairs and dairys and who has the longest chisel and not talking about ice disc. Those weird bastards! Now all the foreigners think we are homosexuals and maybe even think that we are from Sweden! That is not true! Even though there already are lots of peoples from Legoland in SM-league this period, because they wanted to go to Sweden, but all the muslims and mudfaces and other clothfaces said "Get out of our country!" and then Swedish Kalervo Weirdola said to the Legoland people and all other NHL-players: "Dont cum here!" Thats why all the Legolandians goed to the nextest homostes place in the world, Rauma. Or maybe they thought they were going back home to Legoland, which is in JuutsRauma, and then they got confused. I dont know. I just know that there are too many Legolandians in Rauma, and that is all because of Kalervo Weirdola and Swedish Kalervo Weirdola.

Next to the Rauma, there is the welder city of Pori, and there was played an ice disc game where some tractor drivers cummed to Pori and they played against the local team, S-letters. There was also one lost Legolandian in the visitor team, but lets not talk about him. Lets talk about this crazy Tunisian terrorist homo Ramzi Abid who all in suddendly begun to scream "ALLAH AKBAR" and then he tried to explode himself, but it failed, and Ramzi was so angry he hitted the Jesus Christus of Pori, Joel Käsia, in the head and Joel got a braincrash and also Jesse Riversmouths arm was broken, all because of this crazy terrorist attack! These muslim terrorist attacks are terrible, already they falled those two racennus in USA, then the one who looks like Profet Mohammed raped our famulos savior WC95Nevöforget and now this Ramzi-terrorist tried to kill the Jesus of Pori. Those crazy usconto suicidebombers! Go do something useful and blow yourself next to Kalervo Weirdola or something! If not, we will soon begin new Cross Picnic Trips into the Arab countries!

Last but not yeast, Saimaas Ball won Batmans Enemies in their home nawetta RacePark. There is one peoples from Italy in the Saimaas Ball who scored two paints in that game. Italian people cums to Finland to play disc and scores two paints, thats crazy, what next, some team will have a portuguese player who is not totally useless? These are crazy times in the SM-league, soon there so many terrorists and other foreigners that the name of the league must be changed to WM-league, you know, like World Mesdaruus League!

 

[JHag]

Yes FASchild, you are absolutely right. There are too many foreigners in the SM-liiga. Hjallis Chinless, the owner of Batman's Enemies is cursing this fact. He booked an american AOR-band to perform in his arena and printed posters and newspaper ads saying: "On Friday: Foreigner!" But all the music fans thought that it's just a normal SM-league game in the arena and that's why there were only three people watching Foreigners gig: Riki Sorsa's brother, Mariska's sister and Teuvo Loman's lover, who said that unfortunately the gig wasn't from ass.

 

[morningstar]

I am foreseeing an invasion of international posters now that we have this classy English portion of Overtime. So I thought we might share some intriguing details of the history Overtime and how it came to be.

Firstly, the word for message board in Finnish is messulauta. It consists of messu, which means mass (as in Catholic mass) and lauta, which means a woman with virtually no titties. During the Catholic era in the history of Finland (between the Swedish crusades and the protestant reformation) the medieval Finns would once a year gather to discuss and troll about kyykkä, mölkky and päähänlyöntikilpailu in a monastery. The discussions were traditionally moderated by nuns who had lost their titties to leprosy.

 

[Apmp-]

Wtf, didint the terrorist get any gameprohibition? Because I think all the terrorists should get long gameprohibitions. Mohammed got very many games because of his attack to WC95nevöföget-Little Field. Buy the way, have you seen Little Field's attack to Czekkosslovakkian player from Stoats, Tomas Pmeatl? It's obvious that Pmeatl plays in Stoats. Stoats have only Zhekkosslovakkian players in their team. It's like Chekkosslovakkia's C-countryteam. Their couch is Hannu Arapower, because he showed in the 90's that when he is couching, Czeccoslovakia win many championships.

Now something about TBC. TBC lost to HAAC after a very shit performance in Saturday. Brian Willyou got outdrive because the referee thinked that he javelined Jari Tank. Really Jari Tank filmed. Also Ilari Cockrt drived Willyou to the boards very dangerously before this incident. But referees are blind.

Tomorrow TBC will play against Kuopio's Sword in Champagne Areena.

 

[JHag]

Really Jari Tank filmed.

That's true. Now HAAC has its own official squatshitter. Watch out Jarkko Square, you're not the only ballerina in this league!

 

[Wiljami]

Today is the world biggest ice disk league, nhl negotiation continued. Head leader Kari Vedonlyöntimies is meeting player union mans. How does this reflect to Finlands Master-league? I know Saimaas Ball dont have men from over the big water, but how for exemple the Batmans Enemies or Turus Ball Club? And what are the feelings in the next homo place Rauma, has the swimcapman new tricks if Legolanders go back to outland?

 

[Uleåborgir]

Buy the way, have you seen Little Field's attack to Czekkosslovakkian player from Stoats, Tomas Pmeatl? It's obvious that Pmeatl plays in Stoats. Stoats have only Zhekkosslovakkian players in their team. It's like Chekkosslovakkia's C-countryteam. Their couch is Hannu Arapower, because he showed in the 90's that when he is couching, Czeccoslovakia win many championships.

That nots true that in Stoatses plays only Czekkoslovakhian players. In Stoatses suit room is also Kanada's tongue, because there plays Kyle Fluffis and Andson Demers. Andson Demers is the goodest reverse gear in FC-leega. In Batman's Enemies is a hurry kalled Erik Karlsson, but he is not any gooder than Andson. He is badder self in thing.

Hannu Arapower or Hannu Aracurrency is remembered from nasty matsh in homeworldchampionshipgames, when the Hurries went pass Finland after being on lose 5-1. Then Lionses Jani Blood ribaled into his gamepants and Fobba and Match Yourdin did many paints and Hurries winned 6-5. That game was quitted in Nevöfoget II in Chsekoslovachias former head town Bratislaava when Finland ass raped Hurries six-one. Then played in Swedes a Finlandish betrayer Magnus "Nusnus" Headlake.

 

[Ikävänkantaja]

And what are the feelings in the next homo place Rauma, has the swimcapman new tricks if Legolanders go back to outland?

He doesn't need any new tricks because he has old ones enough already: in Rauma's Lock there are many significant players such as Harry Smallwoodpecker, Kimberley White Water Ear, their skipper Intake Old Pine Tree Tribe and their creditdefender, Tom Hardlittle. As you all outlandlivings may know, Tom is famous of collecting artglass and eating vegetables and other mushrooms and berries and fishes from and in the forrests and misty mountains of Hundredcommunity.

 

[Wiljami]

their creditdefender, Tom Hardlittle.

I remember when Tom Hardlittle was also a creditreverse in Mikweather and that was also when swimcapman was headreadier of the platoon (Mikweathers Stubborns) and won many juicecartons. Good times :)

 

[maken veivi jr.]

Here niör thö wolf border in Kuopio we had many problems at pre-season. After being in outlands our owner/player and our Neeger and our coach Tuokkola had a gathering in the Kapanen Mansion and after that our tiim changed coach. Now our couch is Jari Horserace, hee a good coach and dont know any Petra's.

We have one good hurridefender who has a womans name and then we had outland player from behind the big sea. Problem was that he was veri good disc player and better in drinking and fucking then our owner/player so he had to go. We replaced him with uglier and slower version so everybody happy now.

Our piggest proplem is Kuopios Sara Sieppis refuse to have sex with tiims player/owner so he gets very mad in kaukalo and takes lots of penalties because too much pressure in underwear.

 

[ernestipotsi]

Our piggest proplem is Kuopios Sara Sieppis refuse to have sex with tiims player/owner so he gets very mad in kaukalo and takes lots of penalties because too much pressure in underwear.

It is very good know fact that HAAC-players don't wear long calsarit. Last year's Wintterclassic was remembered when HAAC-legend Matt "Hack" Hagman showed everybody that the real stadilaiset never use long calsarit.

This year there is no Wintterclassic, because Keklu is bald and because there will be played some kickball next summer, maybe. This not finnish kickballlandteam -chain, but Jari "glassankle" Littlelitma is King and the Latino of the Bay and he well play at Owls for next 10 years.

 

[Street Clinton]

Last but not yeast, Saimaas Ball won Batmans Enemies in their home nawetta RacePark.

Saimaas "too good for the league" Ball is big right now. All the other clubs, balls and aces are jelous because Saimaas pay little but win much. I think next season they will get transferred to KHL where they are not that overpowerious over other teams. Hahahaa, that is right thing for wonders of the east which is their nickname. But one thing is brothering me. Ai'm lectured that correct transltation to Saimaas Ball is Gotlands Ball. It's confusing, because Gotland is in Sweden. How do you explain this for foreing piipole? Also i hear there are people who say TBC should be spelled ÅBC. Dont know if theres any truth in that.

But lets be concentrated to Kalevas Ball. This shitty team is my favourite. It's shitty because hard core hockey fans say its boring team. And they are right. Disc-controll is one to blame. It makes game slow and sleepy and it deletes atmosphere in arenas all over finlandia. One time coach said to players that they need tackle, but players did not understand that word. Players just want to hold and hit the puck. But everthing isnt bad. There is one very good player, Sakari "dominator" Salminen. He is known for his unique nickname.

 

[Apmp-]

Hello all foreigners and Foreigner.

Now the gameprohibitions from weekend's games have comed! Terrorist from Grainvillage got four games. The guy from Batman's Enemies who kicked Mikko Puckka got two games and Stoats Juho Little Ball of Wool got 3 games for winghitting Hämee'sCastle Ball Club's Aleksi Valley. What do you peoples think about Bank Liuslake's work?

I wonder if the terrorist is angry to Liuslake. He probably is saying something like:

Give me cake, give me fine Satan! Come smiling here. Think Devil! Fucking Mickey Mouse's.

edit: I'm sorry. Little Ball of Wool got his gameprohibition from rushing, not winghitting. My bad.

 

[Frankie]

What do you peoples think about Bank Liuslake's work?

Referring to Finlands only knight, Sir. William (you know the man with the moustasche and mullet): Bank isn't discipline officer!

Before HAAC was often in talks with discipline officers, and they would give us a lot of cake. But thanks to Soup, nowadays HAAC players are like Miikka Tuomainens reincarnations.

 

[maken veivi jr.]

But lets be concentrated to Kalevas Ball. This shitty team is my favourite. It's shitty because hard core hockey fans say its boring team. And they are right. Disc-controll is one to blame. It makes game slow and sleepy and it deletes atmosphere in arenas all over finlandia. One time coach said to players that they need tackle, but players did not understand that word. Players just want to hold and hit the puck. But everthing isnt bad. There is one very good player, Sakari "dominator" Salminen. He is known for his unique nickname.

Jees, greit favourite name! I think problem is that Jari Horserace dont know the difference bitwiin kickball and disc. In kicball/kendo you can score from the corners but in disc you dont, but if we get that Carles Puyol from Philadelphia, mayby things change.

Kaleva Ball also has our own Juti. Yeasterdays he was a bad plusminus and great at hazard in own end, but he good now, veri solid. If he wants to be real Juti he must improve his orange jacket wearing, shit talk, sausage and barbegue.

-matt's dangle jr.-

"hope the C-shirts put the turn on and dont get raped"

 

[FASlapsi]

But one thing is brothering me. Ai'm lectured that correct transltation to Saimaas Ball is Gotlands Ball. It's confusing, because Gotland is in Sweden. How do you explain this for foreing piipole?

What have you pulled? Gotlands Ball? I have never hearded that, and I am not deaf, and I have either never readed that, and I am not blind (Like Timo T.A. Little Mikko) or neeger (Like Kimmo Little Kapa) so I can read. But about Gotlands Ball I have never ever readed or hearded or fantasized. You must be very very drunk, you lucky fish cock man.

Oh yes, the judge of SM-league gave jail time to three players yesterday. The young Batmans Enemies player who kicked Micko Pucka got two games jail time because kicking the famulous Finnish land team player is wrong. That Oulu Stouts man whose name I forgot already because it is so forgottable got three games jail time because he runned against some Häme Castle Potato Club player and because the mangers in ice halls are not made of cotton candy and rainbows (except in Batmans Enemies UFO), that Häme Castle Potato man hit his head and suffered a braincrash or something and he was sent to hospital, even though Oulu Stouts fan boys said he was making dying swans, a traditional ice disc move from Oulu which was teached to the Ouluians by the numerous ballerinas from Czech country who the Ouluian JariKurri, Juha "Golden Crawat" YouKnow has harvested in to the Oulu. He loves Czech peoples almost as much as Sir Pena, but he does not care if their names are not dogs.

Most importantest jail time sentence was for the Syrian tractor terrorist, Ramzi Abid, he got four games jail time and after that he will be punished by his own culture punishments, which means he will be tied into the center of GrainVillage marketplace, and all people will throw rocks and tractor wheels and all kind of landjussi things at him and yell ALLAHAKBAR and burn some USAian flags and shoot in to the air with rynnäccöciwäri. Then he is sent to Thailand, and he is changed to she, and after that some battery acid will be thrown at her face because she was touching Joel Handia in to the head in romantic fashion, and that is whoreism and against Mohammed Profet and all that and therefore battery acid must be thrown at her, I really dont understand how those rules go but that is writed in the Coran I guess. Semir Ben-Amor has not yet commented about this, but WC95NevöForget was again seen inside all peoples televisions, staring silently.

 

[Watson]

Most importantest jail time sentence was for the Syrian tractor terrorist, Ramzi Abid, he got four games jail time and after that he will be punished by his own culture punishments, which means he will be tied into the center of GrainVillage marketplace, and all people will throw rocks and tractor wheels and all kind of landjussi things at him and yell ALLAHAKBAR and burn some USAian flags and shoot in to the air with rynnäccöciwäri.

Yes, indeed. Tractor team of GrainVillage has just published a shocking video from local marketplace:

Ramzi Abid

Please, if you have little disc fans in your home, tie up their eyes or put their heads inside a paperbag before watching, this video is very brutal.

 

[Ted Raikas]

Frankly, I think Saimaas Ball translates Saimen's Ball (SaiBa).

Although Flatshore Atoms or Flatshore Hydrogens sounds good to me too. More like a NHL-style! There should be a meatpie in logo with lots of ham and eggs middle of the atom symbol.


Anyway. Dear child has many names, say.

 

[Street Clinton]

What have you pulled? Gotlands Ball?

I have pulled many chins, but it doesnt compare for Grainvillage traktor pulling. Oh, traktor bully boys, you dont want to plow with those guys. When you see big red traktor, run, because thats the Case and there might be terrorist driving it.

Gotlands Ball. When analyising word Saimaa, scientifics noticed it consist of two small words, sai and maa. Scentifics were able to recocknize word sai is equall to verb getgotgot and maa to land. Rest is history, but not very well known.

Although Flatshore Atoms or Flatshore Hydrogens sounds good to me too. More like a NHL-style! There should be a meatpie in logo with lots of ham and eggs middle of the atom symbol.


Anyway. Dear child has many names, say.

New names is good. One good example of succesfull name change in FC-league is team from middle Finland. They made massive name change from JYP Ht to JYP. What was the outcome? No raised boys under the name JYP Ht, but two raised boys under the name JYP! Middle Finland is best name changer in this league. No doubt.

Flatshore Atoms and Hydrogens is good name. Makes you feel enercetic and hungry.

 

[Stigu]

This season fanniest disc team is again (after vife consecutive years) The Hydrogen/Atom (without zibul and ketchup please) Team from Gotland. Zum erstenmal, think in your head that the captain of team is William Puck-flying-above-ice. Puck-flying-above-ice! I think this weirdo change his name last year when he learnt to make the puck-fly-above-ice. Before that his name must have being William Nobody. If you not know ice disc but know football then think that a captain of feimous football team would be Peter Penalty Kick. Fanny as whell.

Secondly, they still have the famous homosexual Perse Vilahti Nagander in their team. Four You foreigners this is heart to translate but it is something like Ass Slipped in City of Nagano. Or something like that.

Then they have this weird dude Olavi Horse-Gone-a-little-crazy and Jonathan Shoemaker, and all these thousands of other fanny cartoon characters in their team. I wander who in hell would cannattaa that kind of a team. Sick.

 

[Wiljami]

I have knowed the east wonder ball platoon also the name east sputnik, or Cпутник when they play in soviet ice disk liegue KHL because they are too good value per money in FM-liegue.