"You’ve clearly got the Oilers nailed — they’re Hogan for sure. I don’t think the Blackhawks can be Reigns though, since he’s still relevant. The Penguins are Roman Reigns — always on top, always on TV, currently being reinvented although they still look pretty much the same — while the Blackhawks are more John Cena.
The Canadiens are clearly Ric Flair — more championships than anyone, haven’t been truly relevant in decades but don’t seem to realize that. The Red Wings are The Undertaker — old school, an almost unparalleled run of success starting in 1990, painful to watch for the last five years. The Kings are CM Punk — all the smart people got on the bandwagon first, won multiple championships, haven’t been seen since 2014.
The Jets are the Ultimate Warrior — left for a few years and then came back but some people won’t shut up about how it’s not the same guy. The Devils are Mick Foley — three championships, a style that wasn’t for everyone, and somebody usually ended up with a concussion. And the Flames have to be Bret Hart — from Calgary, broke through in the late 80s, had to wait for Hogan (the Oilers) to go away before winning a championship, best known to modern fans for getting screwed over by the officials.
OK, just a few more and then I promise I’ll stop. The Golden Knights are Becky Lynch — not supposed to be good but apparently didn’t get the memo. The Lightning are Randy Orton — won their first championship in 2004, just won another one, pretty much always contending and it’s annoying. The Rangers are Bob Backlund — glory years in a bygone time but never did anything in the modern era except for that one title in 1994.
The Sharks are Shane McMahon — old, expensive, apparently oblivious to how bad they look these days, and you only watch them in big moments because you know it’s going to end with a memorable crash-and-burn. The Coyotes are early Bill Goldberg — they have one move under their belt and probably need a second before they can win a championship. The current Islanders are Dean Malenko, but if I say why their fans will kill me. And finally, the Leafs are Barry Horowitz — on TV every Saturday, never win anything, constantly patting themselves on the back anyway."
