Hello LaMos and other foreign scum peoples!
(LaMo means Land Movers, it is herjaing name for all foreign country peoples who cum to Finland and do not eat riisi and raisgaa ours womanses)
Today ends Liig season, only one game is played by all normal teams, Tampere Carrot Pants has already finished because they always come too soon when they are with womanses or manses. But lets forget about the too soon comming Raipe's, now is time to tell you about this season of Finlands ice disc.
All the imbortant places in trunk series table are already givened. Miragle has happend: Helsinki's Homos With No Physic Fit (HHWNPF) has wonned trunk series first time since Juhani Little Oak was born, this happened somtime around year 0, and then some Land Movers writtened story about Juhanis youngster years, this book is very bobular today, it is called The Raamatt'. Oulu'ians Little Weasel Animals Kind Of cammed second, and too soon cumming Carrot Pants cummed third, even though they cummed first, this is baradox that cannot be explained by sciense. Jyväskylä Tractor Farmers are four, best team in the world, the Saimaa's Balls com'd five and then all the other teams commed after them, I dont care about those because they came after SaiBa.
Today is still played a game against HHWNPF and Saimaa's Balls, and in this game is very high bullets, at least for one person. That person is Helsinki City Boys Tomas Zaborsky. He is from Cjzesch cantri, and he is very very poor. He has gontract fax paper with Helzinki Village Peoples, that says "If you do more paints than anyone, you get 1 euro. If not, you get nothing, get out from here when still can." Now poor Tomas has made 26 paints, and his worst bainajain', Saimaas Balls Chad Rau, who used to play in East-Power ice disc liig, and has not getted any penaltis since Juhani Little Oak was born, has made 28 paints. Tomas has spent last five days and nights watching video tapes from Helsinki Comrade Hint's plays, and pushing Rewind button from he's old video cassett player, and then Play miljon times to see if he has been close to disc in some Helsinki paints and he can get the paint for himself. This worked, Tomas got one free paint when he writtened a letter to Liig:
"Hi, this is Tomas Zaborsky. I want one paint more!!!! Watch video tape from the game four and half moonseasons ago; in time 38:17 I skate next to Teemu Ramste or whatever his fucking name is, and when he makes the disc fly in to the paint net, WATCH CLOSELY!!!! MY STICK MIGHT TOUCH THE DISC!!! SO IT MY PAINT, NOT THAT SHIT TROUSER FUCK FACE TEEMU HOMO!!!!! GIVE ME PAINT!!! GIVE ME PAINT FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!"
Then Liig gived Tomas 1 paint for free, and sayed Teemu Stamrsred "Sorry, no paint for you, you griminal, go to childrens hospital and take selfies you motherfusker!"
So now, Tomas has 27 paints, Chad has 28 paints, and if Tomas does not make more paints in todays game than Chad, he must again go watch his video tapes and write letters, or else he will not survive the summer, but instead will die a hunger death. So let's hope that Tomas makes paints todei, and then he can life his live again like normal poor and selfish Czesch homo.
Also some words must be sayed from the Mestis teams: The Cabinett team of Vaasas Urheil made another Miragle happen, they gotted the last place in pity playoffs, even when they have Tomek Little Manne as their JariKurri. And KKK also is not last team, they also almost gotted in to pity playoffs, but then S-letters and Urheil stopped that from happening, but still, good season for these two shitty Mestis teams.
In Esboo, the Blues has made very intredasting year. They have selled every player that can be selled, and only play with those players that are too bad to be selled anywhere. After season, they will use all the money they got from selling all players, by loosing them in Peter Aholas pockets, and then make concurss. Peter Ahola is also very very poor like Tomas Zaborsky, he must take all money everywhere and cheat his friends in house buildings and all that kind of tomaszaborsky things he must do to survive. So lets also hope that Peter can steal lot more money from Blues, so he can also survive and then next year Peter and Tomas can still life.
That's it, I dont want to write anymore, go back raisgaing and stealing you stupid LaMos, and if you see Peter Ahola or Tomas Zaborsky, take them with you, so they get new hobbys.
Best Regardses,
Everybody from Finlandish